Born a Monster

Chapter Type: Social

If I had been expecting so much as a thank you, I would have been sorely disappointed.

“Only one a day, then.” the admiral said, looking down at a map of the waters around the citadel. Some enterprising individual had made tiny boat models, I presume one for each remaining vessel. “It will not be quick enough, and they’ll refit the wards to protect against your method of attack.”

One of the captains present spoke up. “It was the first time we’ve done anything to them since that lucky hit on the Wave Strider.”

Another said, “Enough about that being luck. I still say we need to promote... whichever crew that was.”

There was a short round of chuckling.

“Soldier Rhishisikk, we will speak again of your ... issues... at the tenth hour. For now, there are plans to make.”

“A question, please, before he goes.” said the first captain. “If we got you a message, could you swim it to a port city of our choosing?”

.....

“Of course.” I said. “I still have to carry the message of the elementals to them, after all.”

“In the tenth hour.” the admiral said, waving me to the open double doors. I bowed and left them.

It wasn’t as if I didn’t have to spend time gathering mana. At least my body was well fueled on the corpses of fish. And, much like I had done with the earth elementals, my access to the ocean had allowed me to replace my Nature mana as well.

But there were other gaps, areas that desired mana like a parched land desires rain. There were emotions loose in the citadel, most of which I had never tapped. But there were places where people had gone mad, where people had died. Fundamental emotions had been let loose, and I drank deeply of their remnants.

The entire tower was infused with Duty, some Courage (also known as bravery), but above all, there was Discipline. All of these, I added to my arsenal. Okay, only a point each, so it was more like adding a few daggers. But, as I may have indicated, it was easy enough to transform things into other things.

The sun was always available, although it was difficult to find a spot on the wall where an entire iota of mana had gathered. But I found one, and shortly after nightfall, had tapped Moon and Stars and Night from the same area.

I.

Had.

Power.

Oh, you’ll read the writings of mages, about how keeping mana in the aura is addictive, about how it’s like housing lightning in your soul, about how it changes you (so seldom for the better). Whether through habit, or by my lineage, I felt only energized as I filled up my mana reserves. Little by little, I returned to life, felt my mind awakening again.

This was what I was born to be, this feeling. I was a conduit for power, yes. But slowly, it would accumulate, and I would become... something else.

If I lived that long.

Stupid. The brood was right. I was trying to live among humans, like a human, by human limitations. But I was not human, and they would never let me, not while I was so obviously...

[You lack the biomass reserves to begin Human Transmutation.]

Wait, I hadn’t... had I?

[You have spiritual condition: Mana Overload.]

I had WHAT? I didn’t know I COULD suffer from that. Or rather, first time for everything. I knew the theory, and what to do. I released mana, let it spill out of me and into the environment.

It’s not something you want to do. Not because it won’t come back to you, because it will. But rather because the world is not a place for raw mana, and letting it loose was just asking for trouble.

If you MUST, though, do it slowly, in a controlled manner.

Every Mouse Desires Cheese. Taint comes in four main types: Evil, Madness, Death, and Chaos. And there were theories about what, exactly, Taint was.

What WAS known was that it was a supernatural force, and could merge with, could contaminate, magic. It wanted to, such as mindless primal forces could want things.

Actually, having once housed a few points of Taint, I wasn’t sure that it hadn’t been alive. Maybe not as I lived, but it wriggled, it sought freedom. And...

Anyway, it was a vile and corrupting thing, part physical, part metaphysical, and releasing raw magic was a good way to draw it. Some rumors said it was also a way to create it. So I didn’t take the chance, and released the energies slowly.

And, as it faded, I could recognize the Wizard’s Madness. That arrogance beyond vanity, the belief that power must be used, that the world itself should change to match the will of the wielder.

Oh, I kept most of it. The Water mana, both River and Ocean, nestled into its familiar place in my aura. It was my first mana, the type I was born to. It, more than any other element, was a part of who I was.

Slowly, I could rebuild my tolerance for...

It was near the tenth hour. I needed to go, so I did.

Still, after so long without mana, I finally felt like a magical creature again.

It shouldn’t have surprised me that the meeting of officers was just breaking up.

Admiral Kwan Lun looked in my direction, but would not meet my eyes. “These documents,” he said, “contain a list of failures, ending in an abomination.”

“That abomination, as you call it, saved lives and livelihoods. This island would have survived this ... shaking... the elementals spoke of.”

“An earthquake.” the admiral said. “We have them throughout the Empire. Order and justice survive them. Honor survives. But this... If you cannot see how THIS is wrong, you can never have a place among us.”

“This was a lesser evil.” I said, “And yes, that means it is still evil. But there is no world where everything is good and honorable.”

“There is no point to a world without honor.” he said. “None. Do you understand that I can have nothing to do with you? That we must now exile you from the entire enclosure? Or risk sanction from the Celestial Bureaucracy, perhaps the Celestial Emperor himself.”

“So explain this to me.” I said. “Is this religion, or honor, or some caveat in your military laws? Why is this, an action which saves lives and restores balance, so wrong?”

“These are not separate things, ambassador. Not to us. Mia tells me you once asked about our honors and how they relate to face. It shows a fundamental misunderstanding. Regard your fingers. They seem as separate things, but they are just manifestations of you.”

He formed a fist. “They are one thing, and they are united. There are differences, but all of it, everything that exists is one.”

He sighed. “And YOU are another. In two day’s time, you shall depart the Dusk Gate. You shall not bear rank, and you shall not have our equipment, or our blessing. Make your way along the island, if you can. You shall wear only your own clothing, and this.”

He extended a black headband.

“This is worn only by those whose executions have been delayed.” I said.

“It is so. I can do nothing to save your honor; that you have stripped from yourself forever. I cannot save your face. In the end, I cannot even save your life. I can only delay your death, and that only by so long as the rebels permit. When your elemental task is done, you shall be executed, here. Do you understand?”

“I absolutely do not understand.” I said. “And we will discuss this matter later.”

“I am bound by the law, by honor and by tradition. What you have done is beyond what can be forgiven. There is nothing to discuss. I am truly sorry.”

I donned the black headband.

“This is not over.” I said.

“Except, so sorry,” he said, “that it is. I gave you a chance to deny these reports, but you... It is over, and we shall not speak again.”

“Meet your guards for your remaining time within the wall,” he said. “These are Nung Nia and Song Tsu, and they are sworn to honorable conduct. Any attempt to escape their presence, and they will execute you.”

I sighed. “I trust that I can write and send messages?”

The admiral turned his back, waved his hand in dismissal. “That is for your guards to decide. Your fate is in their hands, not mine.”

“I notice the two of you look alike.” I said, flicking my reticule over both of them. “But you are not related by blood.”

“We are married.” said Song Tsu.

“We find it aids in harmonious performance of our duties.” Nung Nia added. “Besides, we each have two other spouses to choose, should this marriage ever be torn asunder.”

“Say, were we ever assigned to different regions of the empire.” Song Tsu explained.

I blinked. “Has that ever happened?” I asked.

“Not from here.” Nung Nia said. “It was among the reasons we chose this duty station.”

“And we figured they needed people sworn to honor.” Song Tsu added. “We were right.”

“For this reason, you are not needed.” concluded Nung Nia.