Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 365: The Pompous Dumbo

“I’ve got it!”

“Mount Putuo is within the Wu province, but it’s not in the mainland and situated on the southeastern sea region of the Zhoushan Isles instead...”

“We could depart from the harbor of Qiantang River and head to the purple bamboo forest of Mount Putuo from there...”

In the wildlands beyond the Hangzhou City base, Trumbo used its feline paw to adjust its reading glasses that had no lens, while it used its other paw to swipe through his phone masterfully.

Beside the cat, Dumbo, dressed in its usual baggy pants, was holding its canine paws on its hips while standing on its rear legs, cigar in mouth.

After breathing in a puff of the cigar and choking until it was tearing up, it swore, “Bloody hell... other people tend to look so elegant when smoking cigars, so why am I choking when I smoke one? Looks I should smoke Chinese cigarettes instead of cigars.”

When he was done cursing, he pointed at the Hangzhou City base, which was just nearby. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s charge into the city, capture someone, and have them bring us to the Qiantang River harbor.”

“No way!”

Trumbo said elegantly at his own pace, “We’ll frighten the people in there if we entered the city with how we look—moreover, we can find the Qiantang River harbor on the map.”

Holding up his phone, he started searching.

“The Qiantang River harbor is just twenty kilometers away from Hangzhou City... hold on, that’s before the Revival of Qi. Because there had been too many Ferals in the waters, Hangzhou City was evacuated entirely. Now, it is eighty kilometers away from the Hangzhou City base.”

“There is also a military base set up at the mouth of Qiantang River to repel aquatic Ferals.”

Trumbo maintained a neutral look as he nonchalantly acted like an old scholar, saying, “We could head to the military base at Qiantang river and ask about the location of Mount Putuo.”

“Can’t you check that stuff online?”

Dumbo asked uncertainly, dropping his cigar.

Trumbo appeared a little embarrassed at that and lowered his head to ask, “I’m not sure about that north, east, south, west thingy showed on the map... that’s why for now, we would have to get someone to lead us to the military base.”

Dumbo was at first taken aback, before it started to howling with laughter while clutching its stomach, just like a dog.

At the moment, the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers were playing around while up in the skies, the two golden eagles were soaring and circling the skies, chasing each other and having too much fun.

That was when a car honk echoed, followed by the screeching of brakes. Then, someone angrily scolded, “You blind fool! Do you have a death wish?”

Dumbo and Trumbo promptly turned toward the commotion and found several refurbished pickup trucks at the nearby road, while the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers were just next to it.

All seven brothers were playing around without keeping an eye out for any vehicles, and they were almost hit by the trucks after they suddenly ran out on the road.

Seventh Brother pouted because of the scolding, feeling utterly aggrieved.

At the same time, Eldest Brother went up to apologize.

The driver, however, snorted coolly and continued scolding, “Where are your parents? You have a mother who had given birth to you, but no mother taking care of you? Who made you so brave that you would run out of the city to play?”

As a matter of fact, the region within ten kilometers outside most city bases were safe zones, with fighters or military forces culling any Ferals from time to time. After all, the people in the city base still needed to eat and the farms near the city must not be trampled over by Ferals.

Though some would manage to escape from time to time, most would be fine and no one usually made it out of the city.

“Damn it!”

Dumbo was cracking its paws and about to step out when it saw that the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers were being scolded. Trumbo stopped it, however, and said nonchalantly, “Calm down. Eldest Brother and the others can handle it.”

“They must be a party of mercenaries, but even the strongest of them is just rank-six intermediate.”

Over on the other side, the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers were not enraged, and they said in one voice, “Uncle, we don’t have a mother.”

Only then did the driver noticed that the seven brothers looked identical and was left astonished at once.

He called out to the other martial artists and Awakened then, and everyone immediately alighted to study the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers. Someone even asked, “You boys don’t have a mother? Could you have climbed out from a rock?”

Eldest Brother shook his head and said seriously, “We did not climb out from a rock. Gramps planted us from bottle gourds.”

Everyone in the mercenary party were at first taken aback, but soon laughed out loud. The martial artist who had scolded the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers first even extended a hand to pat Eldest Brother’s head, chuckling sinisterly, “What the hell, these boys are such a laugh...”

“What the hell!”

Dumbo promptly kicked away Trumbo, who was still holding him back and barked, “How could I hold back?! They are bullying the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers! I am not just going to sit and watch!”

In a flash, Dumbo turned into a puff of daemonic qi and arrived, slapping the martial artist into the dirt with its paw while smiling, “You blind fools! Do you want to die?”

The entire party of mercenaries were all petrified.

Then...

They started to tremble.

Trumbo flew toward them nonchalantly too, and hovered in the air as it adjusted its glasses and sighed. “Dumbo, you’re going to have to do something about that Temper. Each of the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers are a match for divine-tempest pinnacle martial artists, and they definitely could deal with those small fries.”

The party of mercenaries all felt their eyes widening, disbelief written all over their faces.

Two... Feral Kings?

No!

Being capable of human speech meant that they were Feral Emperors!

Then, the two golden eaglets sensed what was going on below and descended as well.

It had been just over a month since they hatched, but since they had been cultivating with spirit stones every day, their ability improved very rapidly. Moreover, they possessed the bloodlines of divine beasts, which was animated the more their abilities improved. After having just weathered through the Four Lesser Retributions of the Nine Heavens, their menacing aura did not lose out to Feral Emperors.

And then there was their wingspans that almost reached eighty meters.

Plop!

The entire party of mercenaries all dropped to their knees.

“Hetui!”

Eldest Brother spat in disdain.

However, he released an air blade inadvertently with that single spit and the woods in front of him collapsed entirely.

That was when an aura arose from the Hangzhou City base.

The martial artist who was watching over the Hangzhou City base promptly rushed to the scene, his face falling after he sensed Dumbo, Trumbo, and the golden eaglets’ auras. Afraid to get too close, he shouted from the distance, “Where have you come from, Ferals? How dare you strut outside Hangzhou City?”

Dumbo took the air above a daemonic cloud, staring at the martial artist as he sneered. “I’m Jiang He’s dog. What is your name? And it’s such a coincidence since I have something to ask of you.”

“...”

That divine-tier martial artist did a double take, and soon came to his senses.

Jiang He’s dog?

He had heard about it...

Carefully flying towards the group of beasts and children, he could not help gasping inwardly after discreetly studying Dumbo, Trumbo, and the two golden eaglets, and thought to himself, ‘I heard that Mister Jiang Likes pets and had reared a dog and a cat, which are both Feral Kings... but it seems that the rumors are not to be believed—their auras have reached Feral Emperor already!’

“The two eaglets did not lose out by much!”

“Still, why are those seven children hanging around with Mister Jiang He’s pets?”

As thoughts whirled in his head, he heard from Dumbo about Mount Putuo and quickly said with a solemn tone, “Dear... dog, there has been freakish incidents happening on Mount Putuo and frequent extraordinary phenomenon. Elites sent there to investigate had yet to return, and orders from above was that none must go there.”

Dumbo’s eyes promptly lit up at that.

Didn’t that mean that things were getting lively over there?

Moreover, the elite guarding Hangzhou City could not stop Dumbo once he insisted. Hence, he led Dumbo and the others to the military base at the Qiantang River harbor, and pointed them to the right direction.

Hence, the dog, the cat, the two eagles, and the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers all took to the skies and disappeared over the horizon.

At the same time, the divine-tier elite quickly sought out the one in command at the military base and reported the matter to the higher-ups, saying, “The dog, the cat, and the two eagles are Jiang He’s pets. Likewise, the two children are very special and are perhaps prodigies whom Mister Jiang is grooming. Keep a close eye on the movements around Mount Putuo and try to contact Mister Jiang right away if anything unusual happens.”

***

It was the eighth of December, which was a clear day.

Though the skies were clear over a thousand miles, the northwestern region was slightly chilly in December and some average joes were already putting on sweaters and long johns.

In his farm, Jiang he was dusting himself a little emotionally.

With Dumbo and the other rascals all gone, the house was quite empty. Most importantly, no one was helping him dig holes whenever he needed to plant something.

“Those rascals have been gone for two days without giving a call... I only told them to get some sheds, fake hills, and purple bamboo forest... why the delay?”

Jiang He cursed quietly as he stepped out of the farm.

He whipped out his phone to call Dumbo and Trumbo’s phone again.

Both cat and dog had their own satellite phones.

Still, they were not within coverage area even after Jiang He had called them a handful of times.

***

Meanwhile, at the military base at the Qiantang River harbor, a military elite was standing upon an elevated spot, looking at Mount Putuo from afar.

A golden radiance had arisen from the mountain, dyeing half the skies in golden hue as multiple white clouds flew toward the peak.

The military elite thought nothing of the sight, however, since that phenomenon had been occurring every other day over the last half month and would diminish in a handful minutes.

A divine-tier elite had been sent by the military to investigate what happened but he never returned. Orders from above afterwards was to ignore Mount Putuo, even though the phenomenon was drawing the attention of immortal sects, demonic sects and daemon cultivators.

Be that as it may...

After five minutes, the military elite’s face twitched.

That golden radiance, which dyed half the sky, had yet to fade.

Then, ten minutes passed, but the phenomenon still did not fade. Instead, there were echoes of Sanskrit resounding from the direction of Mount Putuo, and multiple powerful auras appeared in the distant horizon. There were collisions of terrible energy signatures as well, stirring waves over the nearby rivers and the Qiantang River to start rising.

Later, the military elite could hear a dog barking human speech, which sounded incredibly arrogant even from a dozen miles away—

“I’m Jiang He’s dog! Who dares touch me?”

“If I have a single strand of fur dropping, everyone here must die!”

And then...

The terrible energy signatures instantly faded, and the waves of powerful aura that could shake the world were quickly withdrawn.

Within seconds, the golden radiance that filled the skies... was gone!