Merchant Crab

The thug let out a loud oof as the air was forcibly pressed out of his body under the pressure of Balthazar’s rescuers and he passed out from the blunt force.

Jumping off the drake’s back with his staff tightly gripped in both hands, Druma started hopping around with a menacing look on his face—or at least his best attempt at one.

“Arrrgh!” he yelled, shaking his staff around at nobody. “Let boss go or Druma magics you!”

With a slight frown, Blue looked around and then down at the unconscious man under her. With a small growl, she called the goblin’s attention to her before nodding at their defeated foe.

Druma looked at the bandit, staff still at the ready and confusion on his face.

“You got him already,” Balthazar finally said.

“Yay!” the assistant cheered, holding his staff up horizontally above his head and doing a little celebratory dance. “Blue and Druma beat bandits!”

“I mean…” the crab started with some annoyance to his tone. “He was already about to cut me loose, so…”

The goblin ceased his dance. “Is boss mad at Druma? Blue and Druma shoulda waited outside?”

His expression had quickly shifted to sad and apprehensive, his ears shagging like a dog who had just been caught chewing the cushions.

“No. No, no. It’s fine!” Balthazar hurriedly said. “You guys did good! Who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up? I might have had to actually offer that guy an insurance program or some other nonsense.”

Druma’s expression changed back to joy and he resumed his victory dance, while Blue awkwardly climbed down from her bandit landing pad.

“But we can celebrate later,” the merchant warned. “Now get me down before the other bandit comes ba—”

With a sudden slam, the backdoor into the storeroom flew open.

“What was that noise?!” the smaller bandit who had gone outside yelled as he rushed inside. “Grug, are you—”

His eyes widened as they met his comrade’s body sprawled on the floor, a drake standing over it alongside a goblin frozen halfway through his dance.

“What the hell?!” the man exclaimed as he reached for the knife attached to his belt.

“Watch out!” the hanging crab shouted.

But his companions were already ahead of his warning.

With a high-pitched yell, Druma pointed his staff forward at the ruffian, unleashing a volley of small green bolts at him. The projectiles hit him straight in the chest and stomach, making the man stumble back and grunt in pain.

Before the bandit had time to know what hit him—a spell from an unlikely wizard—Blue had already leaped forward, using her tucked back wings to glide smoothly over the room, closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye. As her claws landed on the floor in front of the dazed human, she spun around for a massive hit with her tail, sending him flying several paces into a pile of wood panels and pallets over by the corner.

Seeing their second foe down and out for the count too, the goblin and the drake cheered loudly at each other, Druma hopping in circles around Blue as she nodded with a toothy grin that Balthazar couldn’t remember seeing very often.

[Bandits defeated. Assist experience awarded.]

[You have reached level 20!]

“This is nice and all, but can I get down from here now or…” the party-crashing crab said from his least favorite hangout spot.

As if suddenly remembering his presence, Blue quickly put away her grin and resumed her more serious and uncaring expression, looking at the second bandit with a raised brow and a few sniffs, checking if he was really out.

Meanwhile, Druma rushed to his boss after grabbing the knife the bandit had dropped before going for his impromptu nap time.

“Yes, yes!” he said. “Sorry, boss! Druma get boss down now!”

“Ow! Watch the antennae!” complained the crustacean as his assistant unceremoniously climbed up his upside-down body to reach the rope, placing one foot on his shell and the other awkwardly close to his face.

With a swift swipe, the goblin sliced the rope from the ceiling beam and immediately hopped off the crab right before he landed on his shell.

“Ouch,” Balthazar said. “That hurt.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Sorry, sorry, boss!” the green creature exclaimed as he hurried to cut the ropes holding the merchant’s legs and claws together.

“It seems Onion Jake knew I was coming to check this place,” said Balthazar as he stood up and shook the dust off his shell. “So that must mean the other places are being watched too. We need to find Olivia and Suze to let them know, before they get in trouble as well.”

Druma shook his head vigorously to every word. Even if he didn’t fully understand everything that was going on, he was more than happy to oblige and just glad to go along, and that was good enough for Balthazar.

“My backpack,” the crab said, looking around the room. “Let’s find it and get out of here before any more bandits show up.”

The goblin looked around until he spotted the bag nearby on the floor. He hurriedly grabbed and handed it to his boss with a big grin on his face. “Druma find bag!”

“Thanks,” Balthazar said as he took the Backpack of Holding into his pincers, eyestalks frowning slightly. “Now why was that guy saying there was nothing in here?”

Putting one claw into the magical bag, the crab rummaged for a moment.

He searched, pinched, and grabbed. At every turn his pincer found exactly the stuff he expected. Trinkets, baubles, and other unsorted junk. Various bottles, some empty, some filled with potions. A few books and pieces of parchment. Even his recently acquired iron ingot was there.

Was that bandit just stupid?

Shrugging his shell as he realized the obvious answer to his question, Balthazar closed the backpack again. He had no time to waste worrying about that. He and his friends needed to leave. Both to avoid more bandits and also to go find Olivia and Suze before they ran into an ambush of their own.

“Alright, help me put this back on quickly and let’s skitter on out of here,” the merchant said to his assistant.

As the goblin prepared to pull the backpack’s straps through the crab’s arms, a rumble of footsteps echoed from outside, several pairs of boots rushing closer to the building while the trio inside looked at each other with wide eyes.

Before any of them could react, two city guards kicked open the double doors at the front while another two rushed through the still open backdoor, all of them with their weapons out and helmets fully strapped.

“Everybody freeze!” the one at the front shouted, spear firmly pointed at the crab’s party. “We got reports of a scuffle inside this place. What’s going on here?”

Druma immediately dropped the backpack and threw his hands up.

Blue simply looked at the men surrounding them with a displeased glare.

Balthazar, on the other pincer, showed some relief.

“Oh, thank goodness it’s you guys,” he said, wiping the top of his shell with the back of his claw. “For a moment I thought you were more bandits rushing in.” He pointed his pincer at the two knocked-out men behind him. “Don’t worry, my companions and I already took these guys out. All nice and ready for you to take them in.”

The guard pulled his weapon back and looked at the full scene in front of him with a deep frown.

“They’re Onion Jake’s men,” another one of the guards said to the first after getting closer to check their pulses and look at their faces.

“Damn it,” said the leading guard, exhaling sharply as he shook his head. “The boss isn’t gonna be happy about this.”

“Wait, what do you mean—” the confused crab started.

“You two,” the guard said to the two remaining guardsmen, “arrest these creatures. At least we can deliver them to him to appease his anger.”

Oh, crap! Corrupt guards!

As the humans pointed their spears forward at the group and started coming closer, Blue assumed a ready stance and bared her fangs with a threatening snarl, while Druma readied his staff again, despite his apprehensive expression.

“No,” Balthazar said to his two companions. “Don’t attack them. We’re outnumbered and fighting the town guards could land us in even worse trouble. Let me try to talk this out.”

Holding his pincers up, the merchant stepped forward to the approaching guardsmen.

“Hey, fellas, there’s no need for all this. Let’s just—Woah!”

“Zip it, crab!” the guard in command said as the other two pushed the crustacean against the floor and started putting a pair of shackles on him. “We had very specific orders to bring you in if we caught you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong again.”

“I don’t even have a nose!” Balthazar exclaimed, his face pressed against the dusty floor. “Hey, watch the moneymaker, will you? I just got out of some ropes, must you really bind me again?!”

A few steps away, the drake stretched her wings open and roared angrily as a dangerous blue glow started forming from inside her open mouth.

“Blue, no!” the crab shouted. “Don’t hurt them! It will make things worse! Just get Druma out of here, don’t let him get put in chains!”

Balthazar had little hope of her doing as he said. She hardly ever did. But to his great surprise, the winged creature looked him straight in the eye—her golden gaze as if piercing straight into his—and the fire building up inside seemed to subside as she turned to the goblin.

“What are you doing?!” the commanding guard shouted to the remaining man not currently holding the crab down. “Seize them!”

The guard held his spear in front of himself, looking scared to come too close to the fire-breathing beast as she nudged the goblin onto her back.

“Boss!” the anguished assistant called. “Druma no want to leave boss!”

“Just get yourselves out of here!” yelled the merchant. “Go and find help. And call my lawyer!”

The goblin finished climbing onto the drake and she wasted no time beating her wings forcibly, kicking up a cloud of dust toward the nearby guard as she took flight.

“Boss!” Druma yelled from atop the azure creature. “What is lawyer??”

“I don’t know!” Balthazar yelled back. “I just keep reading that’s what you should get when arrested!”

“Shoot them down!” the first guard shouted as he pulled out his own bow.

“Go!” the crab yelled.

With a powerful thrust upward, Blue flew out through the broken skylight, disappearing from sight before the guards could ready their arrows.

“Argh!” said the guard. “Whatever, we got the crab. That’s what matters. Pull him up and let’s take him in.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Balthazar exclaimed, struggling against the attempts to close the shackles around his claws.

“You are under arrest,” one of the guards said. “Now stop resisting!”

“For what reason? What is the charge?” the indignant crab said. “Eating pie? A succulent slice of mango pie?!”

The guard in charge came in between the other two, putting his knee against the merchant’s carapace as he tried to help with the chains. “Just… stop… struggling!”

“Get your hand off my gills, sir!” Balthazar shouted with profound outrage.

Despite his protesting and resistance, he was no match for the guards, and soon after, the crab was being hauled in shackles to the Marquessian dungeon.

The guards unceremoniously threw him into a cell, locking up the door and leaving Balthazar seeing the sun through a set of iron bars, like a common criminal.

Ah, crabapples… What do I do now?