What It's Like Being a Vampire

Chapter 267: Two Simpletons



“It’s like this, you remember Deputy Director Liu Caifu, right? He heard you brought friends to Tongshi Town and wanted to invite you and your friends to ‘farmhouse fun’ at Chongyun Village. His nephew has prepared a lot of game, and he said he could easily accommodate ten to twenty people. He mentioned this to me last night, but knowing that you planned to take them to the scenic area today, I didn’t mention it. Now that the scenic area is not an option, why not visit Chongyun Village? Of course, you know Director Liu’s real intention, it’s up to you to decide whether to go or not.” You Meng explained on the phone.

Xiang Kun didn’t ponder much and directly said: “Alright, then we will go to Chongyun Village. You tell Director Liu… uh, never mind, I’ll contact him directly. I have his phone number.”

Xiang Kun was familiar with Chongyun Village and Liu Caifu. The last time he came to Tongshi Town, he had visited Chongyun Village with You Meng to check out a breeding farm that was in the process of being transferred.

It was then that he met Liu Caifu, the deputy head of Chongyun Village, and had tea and conversation with him for an entire afternoon.

What started as a casual boast unexpectedly triggered ‘Emotional Assimilation’, unwittingly influencing both You Meng and Liu Caifu.

You Meng was alright, the effect was limited, and after a while, he barely mentioned the matter. But Liu Caifu continually self-hypnotized himself, greatly admired the ‘Grand Blueprint’ that Xiang Kun had mentioned, and had complete faith in it. He even helped to fill in many ‘loopholes’ that Xiang Kun had not considered when making his boast and had thought up many practical plans of action.

Xiang Kun initially thought that his ‘Emotional Assimilation’ effect was temporary, and that with time, Director Liu would naturally ‘become more rational’ and ‘calm down’.

But when he learned from You Meng that Liu Caifu had even taken over the problematic breeding farm, he understood that Director Liu was truly stuck in the ‘pit’ that he, Xiang Kun, had dug and couldn’t crawl out. He was digging it deeper and deeper himself…

So Xiang Kun knew that the bell ringer was needed to untie the bell — the pit he had dug, he had to fill it himself.

He had considered many solutions, such as using ‘Emotional Assimilation’ in reverse, influencing Liu Caifu with other remarks to make him lose faith in Xiang Kun’s ‘Grand Blueprint’ and ‘future development plan’. But there were many details involved in this approach, and it was uncertain how effective it would be, and it might even cause new problems. After all this time, Liu Caifu’s current ideas and plans were mostly his own, resulting from careful thought and consideration, and could not be completely dissolved by a simple negative emotion.

Therefore, especially after the birth of “Alice,” Xiang Kun had been considering another plan – to simply “act the part” and truly carry out the bragging he had done.

Of course, it was not the original “bullshit 1.0” he had bragged about, but a feasible plan based on his specific circumstances and current situation.

After all, he did need a “base” far from the big city to cope with his growing blood needs in the future, and to place some related equipment for his own mutation research.

Moreover, Xiang Kun had a good impression of Liu Caifu, the deputy head of Chongyun Village.

Liu Caifu was obsessing over the boast Xiang Kun made, not merely for his own benefit, but more for the future development of their entire village.

Even though he was constantly thinking about this matter, even took over the farm and privately made many preparations and plans, Liu Caifu, after speaking to Xiang Kun once over the phone and realizing his hesitations, did not privately contact him again.

Even this time, knowing that he brought a group of friends to play in Tongshi Town, he didn’t come directly to find him or phone him. Even the invitation was extended indirectly through You Meng, which showed a restraint in his conduct.

Xiang Kun was the type of person who would give respect when respect was shown.

Even if he couldn’t help Director Liu fulfill the development plan for Chongyun Village in the end, he would find a way to help Chongyun Village find another developmental path.

After directly contacting Liu Caifu and indicating his visit, Xiang Kun called Zi Cheng who was driving the Corolla behind, telling him that they wouldn’t be dining at the restaurant they had planned to go to before, but visiting a friend in a nearby village instead, and told him to follow closely.

Xiang Kun glanced at his rear-view mirror, and the two guys who had been eyeing them since the hotel door, were still tailed them closely on the motorbike.

If the road conditions were good, he might have been able to speed up and shake them off, but the condition of the road from Tongshi Town to Chongyun Village was not so great that he could go fast. When they bumped into places with more pits, they had to move slowly to avoid hitting the bottom of the car, as their vehicles were basically full.

Xiang Kun noticed that Old Xia in the passenger seat also occasionally glanced at the rearview mirror. She even once casually looked back, and judging from the direction of her line of sight, she seemed to have also noticed the motorbike tailing them.

Ordinary people who noticed a suspicious car following them would definitely say something to their companions like “I think the bike behind is tailing us.”

But aside from casting occasional glances at Xiang Kun, she didn’t mention her discovery at all.

Thus, Xiang Kun quickly realized that Old Xia knew that he had also spotted the motorbike following them, so he didn’t say anything.

Ever since he picked her up at the station, Old Xia’s attention had been on him, observing his every move.

Old Xia once said, “I observe everyone,” but it didn’t seem true now.

There were several new faces today, like Zhang Qian in the back seat. But Old Xia’s focus was still mainly on him.

In his judgment, Old Xia’s main purpose for coming to Tongshi Town seemed to be observing him.

This once again affirmed Xiang Kun’s previous assessment — Old Xia had noticed something peculiar about him.

Of course, he was also more attentive to Old Xia. He was pretty sure that Old Xia seemed to have difficulty showing emotional fluctuations.

He once thought this might be due to Old Xia’s strong self-control, but later observations suggested that perhaps Old Xia was physiologically different from others?

But how was this related to Old Xia’s interest and focus on him?

As for the two blokes on the motorbike, Xiang Kun was not worried. He had multiple ways to handle them, he just needed to find the most efficient and effortless method.

Not long after entering the boundaries of Chongyun Village, as their cars slowed down on the bumpy road, the motorbike finally started to speed up and overtook them from the side.

Since Xiang Kun knew they were out to scam, he maintained a safe distance as the motorcycle slowed down ahead of his SUV.

If they slowed down, he’d slow down even more, occasionally stopping to let them move farther ahead.

Finally, the two guys couldn’t wait any longer. They stopped, threw the motorbike, and blocked the road.

Xiang Kun was about to swerve past them, when the shorter man stretched his arms out, blocking the way. He pointed at the fallen motorbike and at the tall youth who pretended to fall in front of them, shouting, “You hit someone and now you want to run?!”

Seeing this, Yang Zhen’er was so excited that she almost jumped from the back seat. She hit her head on the top of the car, rubbing her head while exclaiming, “Is it a scam? Is it a scam? Chef Xiang, did we encounter a scam?!”

Tang Baona quickly pulled her back: “What’s there to be excited about a scam…”

“Chef Xiang is about to turn into a martial monk, I can’t wait!” Yang Zhen’er, already taking out her phone to record a video, asked, “Can you handle the two of them, Old Xiang?”

Even Zhang Qian to the side, was looking at Xiang Kun with interest, curious about how he would deal with this situation. Honestly, she hoped Xiang Kun couldn’t handle it and would ask for her help, owing her a favor.

Xiang Kun turned back and told the three people in the back seat: “Stay in the car, no one leaves.”

“We should get out and help you!” Yang Zhen’er complained.

“Help my foot. Whoever gets out won’t get lunch!” Xiang Kun glared at her, then turned to Xia Libing, who was about to get out of the car: “You too, stay in the car.”

Xia Libing looked at him with wide eyes.

“Staring won’t help either. Disobey me, and I won’t feed you!” Xiang Kun threatened her.

Seeing Xiang Kun getting out of the car, and signaling to the people in the following Corolla to stay put, Yang Zhen’er in the back seat of the SUV was still itching to go, nudging Tang Baona sitting next to her: “Nana, let’s get out. Xiang Kun is just joking around, there’s no way he would really starve us.”

Tang Baona leaned back, pulling her legs together and shifting them to one side, letting Yang Zhen’er sitting in the middle of the back seat, to pass through.

Yang Zhen’er then turned her head to look at Zhang Qian, who was sitting on her left side: “Director Zhang, why don’t we get out and get some air?”

Zhang Qian laughed and shook her head, then leaned back, making the same gesture as Tang Baona, indicating that Yang Zhen’er should get out of the car herself.

Yang Zhen’er didn’t give up, and looked at Xia Libing in the copilot seat: “Old Xia, let’s get out of the car together, if Xiang Kun gets beaten up later, we can help, right?”

Xia Libing refused simply: “No.”

Tang Baona laughed: “If you want to get out, get out yourself, why do you need to drag others with you?”

Yang Zhen’er grumpily leaned back into her seat and muttered, “If you come with me, he wouldn’t dare to leave me hungry. But if I go alone, he would definitely dare to starve me.”

Ignoring the teasing from the people in the car, after telling Zi Cheng not to get out of the car, Xiang Kun went up to the stocky young man and smiled: “Bro, is your car out of fuel?”

When the stocky young man saw Xiang Kun from a distance at the hotel entrance, he thought this bald guy looked quite solid, but when Xiang Kun approached him, even his smiling face gave off a strong pressure, like a heavy truck bearing down on him, making him unconsciously step back.

After stepping back, he bristled, feeling a bit embarrassed, so he took two steps forward and shouted: “What do you mean the car is out of gas? It’s you who hit us! Look at what you’ve done to my brother!”

Xiang Kun still had a smile on his face: “Bro, your words are incorrect. There’s quite a distance between our two cars and we never touched each other. How can you say I hit you? Otherwise, should I call the police and have them make a judgement?”

The stocky young man took out his phone, staring at him insistently, looking mean: “Cops? Go ahead and try, see if your call to the cops arrives first or I get my brothers from the village here faster? Do you know where you are? This is Chongyun Village! I’m born and raised in Chongyun Village, and you hit someone on my turf, not only do you not want to pay, but you also have the audacity to deny it?”

Despite his threats, Xiang Kun didn’t take out his phone and remained smiling. “So you’re from Chongyun Village? Then do you know the Deputy Director of the village, Liu Caifu?”

The stocky young man was obviously taken aback and became defensive: “Don’t think that just because you know Director Liu, you can intimidate me. I’ll tell you, today, you won’t get away without giving me and my brother an explanation…”

Xiang Kun continued: “We came to Chongyun Village on an invitation from Deputy Director Liu.”

“Bro, I think I’m okay now, shall we… let’s just leave?” Hearing Xiang Kun’s words, the tall young man who was sitting on the ground quietly stood up, wanting to help with the motorbike.

“Lie back down!” The stocky young man scolded.

The tall young man looked at his brother with grievance and obediently sat back down on the ground, hugging his knees.

“Even if Director Liu himself was here, I’d still say the same thing: you hit someone… You have to take responsibility!” The stocky young man continued to address Xiang Kun, but his voice was noticeably softer.

“Alright then, when Deputy Director Liu comes, you can say it to him.”

As soon as Xiang Kun finished speaking, the stocky young man heard a loud rattle. He turned his head and saw Deputy Director Liu Caifu wearing a traditional blue Chinese-style cotton coat, riding an electric bike towards them. The undercarriage clattered loudly from being too low and going too fast over bumps, but Deputy Director Liu didn’t seem to mind.

The stocky young man was dumbfounded, watching Liu Caifu ride up to them on the electric bike and stuttered: “Uncle Liu…”

Although Liu Caifu was only in his thirties, he was very respected in the village. Not only the stocky young man, but the tall young man also forgot his brother’s instruction and stood up from the ground to greet him respectfully: “Uncle Liu.”

Liu Caifu got off the electric bike, first warmly greeted Xiang Kun, then turned to the two young men with confusion: “Why are you guys here?” He frowned at the motorbike lying in the middle of the road: “What happened?”

The tall young man looked at his brother, then sneakily tried to move the motorbike. His brother pulled him back and said to Liu Caifu: “Uncle Liu… I didn’t know they were your guests. But they knocked over our motorbike, and my brother got hurt…”

Xiang Kun laughed: “Deputy Director Liu…”

Liu Caifu raised his hand to halt him from speaking, not allowing him to explain. He just glanced at the front bumper of Xiang Kun’s car and the position where the motorcycle was parked, recalling the place where the taller brother had just gotten up from and their expressions, he had a fair idea of what had transpired.

Xiang Kun understood that what Liu Caifu meant was to deal with this matter directly, not to act as a peacemaker.

When the two brothers were still riding the motorcycle behind him, Xiang Kun had heard their conversation. In fact, they had planned to stage a collision and claim compensation from Xiang Kun after his two cars left the town area, but one, the speed was around fifty at that time, and they were afraid that they might hurt themselves instead, and two, they noticed that Xiang Kun was heading towards Chongyun Village, and it happened that they were from Chongyun Village, so they could “strike on their turf”.

So Xiang Kun called Liu Caifu after entering Chongyun Village’s mountain road and told him that You Meng didn’t come and he had forgotten the way, asking Liu Caifu to add him on WeChat and send him a location.

As a result, Liu Caifu said that the signal was poor in the mountains and probably would affect the navigation, so he personally came on his electric scooter to pick them up.

Liu Caifu’s suggestion was within the expectations Xiang Kun had built upon his understanding of him, he merely hoped that Deputy Director Liu’s influence would suppress these two blockheads, making them scram immediately, resolving the issue in the simplest possible way and not delay their travel plans.

Given the status of Deputy Director Liu Caifu in Chongyun Village, there shouldn’t be a problem in dealing with these two blockheads.

Of course, with him being present, even if Deputy Director Liu could not handle it, he could directly use mental deterrence as a backup.

The reason why he didn’t directly use mental deterrence was to prevent his companions in the car from noticing anything unusual and connecting it to Qi Haoguo, who was scared off yesterday.

“Don’t you feel ashamed for not studying well, not working hard to make money, and coming here in the village to stage accidents? If you don’t care about losing face, I care on behalf of you! I don’t have time to deal with you now, so go home! I’ll settle the accounts with you later!” Liu Caifu walked up to the two with his hands behind his back and scolded in a suppressed voice.

The taller brother was bowing his head, not daring to speak. The expression on the shorter but more muscular brother’s dark face changed. He glanced at Xiang Kun and spoke in a low voice, “Uncle Liu…you don’t know… it’s Brother Bao’s business… they offended Brother Bao.”

“Brother Bao? Which Brother Bao?” Liu Caifu asked with a furrowed brow.

“You know, the Brother Bao from Tongshi Town.”

“Pig Head Treasure?”

“Eh… yeah, Brother Bao.” The short muscular youth said softly.

“He asked you to stage the accident?” Liu Caifu asked.

“We… we can’t say that, Uncle Liu…”

Xiang Kun came over and said: “The Brother Bao you’re talking about, wouldn’t happen to be the older, chubbier boss driving an A8 and wearing gold-rimmed glasses, right?”

Liu Caifu turned his head and asked in surprise, “Does Mr. Xiang know that guy?”

“Oh, yesterday when You Meng came to pick us up and we were on our way back to Tongshi Town, an A8 rear-ended our car. We wanted to report it to the traffic police, but they seemed to be in a hurry, so we settled it privately.” While Xiang Kun was speaking, he looked innocently at the short muscular youth, “What’s going on, they want to retaliate against us after the private settlement? That boss didn’t seem like the kind of unreasonable person. Come on, give him a call and I’ll have a good talk with him.”

Liu Caifu looked at the short muscular young man and his brother again, and asked, “Is it because of this that Pig Head Treasure got you to stage an accident targeting Mr. Liu?” He had a general idea of what kind of person Liu Feibao was. Even though he didn’t think highly of him, he didn’t think that Liu Feibao, even if he was upset, would reduce himself to doing something so low. Moreover, he had never heard that these two blockheads were following Liu Feibao.

“We… we can’t say…” The short muscular young man avoided his gaze.

Liu Caifu could tell what was going on at a glance. Clearly, these two blockheads had taken matters into their own hands, hoping to gain favor with Liu Feibao and take revenge on Xiang Kun for him. He looked disappointed and pitiful, “You two blockheads… I…” He threw his hands up in frustration “Go! Go now, at once, scram! Stop disgracing yourselves…”

This time, the taller brother didn’t say anything to his brother, he quickly lifted the motorcycle, started it, and moved it to the side of the road.

Watching the brothers, faces coated in dirt, riding the motorcycle out of the village, Liu Caifu sighed helplessly, “Sorry for letting Mr. Xiang witness such a farce.”


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