What It's Like Being a Vampire

Before going to Chongyun Village, as You Meng observed Xiang Kun preparing the bamboo rat meat, he guessed that his friend must be skilled at cooking. Now, he was about to find out.

“Let’s start the promotion I mentioned earlier with cooking videos,” Xiang Kun suggested.

While speaking, he adeptly started boiling water. He picked up a knife and deftly cut onions, even twirling the blade masterfully in his hand. His skillful manipulation of the knife drew gasps from You’s grandnephew and the waitress.

“Cooking videos online that teach people how to cook are pretty basic and having only that cannot guarantee popularity.”

Continuing, Xiang Kun deseeded and sliced the green peppers swiftly. His hands moved quickly, but his eyes never left You Meng and the others. His voice remained steady and soothing, as if narrating a story:

“Cooking videos are just that, videos. They are audiovisual creations. Users first encounter the image and sound.”

Xiang Kun, as if sensing the boiling point of the water, immediately uncovered the pot and put the sliced onions and green peppers in. A moment later, he scooped them back, smoothly and succinctly. Every move, even the way he removed his glasses to wipe the steam off them, was done with panache.

“When users open your video, you must seize their attention with captivating visuals and sound. Our goal isn’t for them to learn how to cook, but to ensure they watch to the end and retain you in mind.”

He then put the bamboo rat meat into the boiling water for a minute. Xiang Kun began preparing the stir-fry pan: heating it, then adding oil.

“Maybe the initial intention of users opening your video is to cook, but what holds their interest goes well beyond just cooking.”

Ever since Xiang Kun did a knife trick, You’s grandnephew started filming him with his phone. You Meng, a chef who commenced his career right after high school, watched with increasing interest. He could tell that Xiang Kun was highly skilled. Even though the kitchen utensils here were different from typical household ones, Xiang Kun still handled them with remarkable dexterity.

After scooping out the bamboo rat meat and draining the water, Xiang Kun emptied the meat into the hot oil in the stir-fry pan, and started tossing it around. His movements became even more flashy; his method of moving the pan and adjusting the flame was distinct from a professional chef. He lacked that practiced smoothness, yet it was extremely visually delightful. Moreover, while tossing, not a piece of bamboo rat meat fell out!

“The food videos that are popular online all have their unique features, but one common thread is that they are typically between 2 to 5 minutes long.”

Xiang Kun took out the bamboo rat meat to drain the oil, then fried the pepper grains until they released a burnt aroma, scooped them out, then popped in spring onions, ginger, garlic, and spicy sauce to enhance the fragrance.

“There’s a YouTuber named Wang Gang whose videos are noted for being concise, fast, and practical; mostly around two to three minutes. He’s really made this format his distinct style. Even if someone else were to adopt this same style, achieving such an impact would be quite challenging.”

Because of Tang Baona, Xiang Kun often found himself browsing randomly on

Bilibili, watching videos by other well-known authors after seeing Princess Tangdou’s latest video. As a cooking enthusiast, he naturally also viewed lots of cooking videos.

Even while engrossed in conversation, Xiang Kun did not pause his cooking. He put the bamboo rat meat back into the pan, added cooking wine, light soy sauce, and sugar to stir-fry, then added a little water to cover and simmer. Even the act of covering the pot seemed artful and casual, like a cultivator covering an alchemy furnace.

“So, our videos should be short and concise, while also reflecting our uniqueness. Something that can properly catch our viewers’ eyes and ears. And that unique factor can be anything; looking good, sounding good, seeming cool, being interesting, or even being ridiculously funny,” he said.

After a while, Xiang Kun lifted the lid and added onions and green peppers for stir-frying before removing the pan from the stove.

He had prepared this dry bamboo rat stew following the steps for a dry rabbit stew, with some adjustments to cater to what he remembered as the Tongshi Town People’s taste preference from his childhood. The priority at the moment, however, was not so much the dish’s taste, but rather to demonstrate the cooking process to You Meng.

Upon witnessing the completed dry bamboo rat stew, You Meng exclaimed: “Xiang Kun, you are truly adept! This cooking is like martial arts training, it is indeed ‘show-offy’, but very pleasing to watch! Did you receive specific training?”

Xiang Kun had of course not been specially trained in these techniques, but he had a mental design of it before he started. Throughout the whole process, he thought of how to exhibit the elegance of a master with apparent ease, he even designed how to wipe his fogged glasses.

He believed that during the cooking process, if they added a piece of instrumental music, he could even match his actions to the rhythm. However, he was worried that if the music played, he might get carried away by the mood and accidentally make a mess.

“Like this, to condense and re-adjust the whole process, research and design every step, then edit it into a video of about 2 minutes, would people watch it?” “Of course! Xiang Kun, you should be the spokesperson for our ‘Youlong Restaurant’! Damn it, you really have the potential to be a web celebrity!” exclaimed You Meng.

You’s grandnephew, who had been recording the video all along, was nodding repeatedly. You Meng’s wife and the young waitress also agreed.

“No, I can’t shoot videos. You have to do it.” Xiang Kun said.

“Me? I can’t. I can’t create the effects you just did.” You Meng shook his head.

“It has to be you. You are the owner of this restaurant and the head chef, and you are also quite affable, giving a contrast of being more of a scholar than a chef. Later, you can get a simple design but well-tailored chef uniform made. Then you should revamp this kitchen, not necessarily luxuriously, but it must be clean and tidy! There’s no need to specifically highlight these, if people are interested in your video, they will naturally notice these details. Little by little, they will imagine you as someone who likes cleanliness and is obsessive about it. People tend to believe in the character they discovered over the one you deliberately show.” Xiang Kun said.

Xiang Kun gestured at You’s grandnephew’s phone, “You can’t use a cell phone to shoot. You must use more professional equipment, light, and do post-editing. The sound also needs to be processed; all the noisy sounds must be removed. It has to have a sense of quality.” You Meng was somewhat dazed, “We can’t do all these.” Xiang Kun continued, “You can pay to have professionals make the shoot. They would have their equipment. First, design a good script, rehearse, and then shoot. The moves can be complex. If you can’t get the hang of it within an hour, practice for a day. If one day is not enough, then practice for ten days! We have to strive for perfection and make every single second of the first video perfect.”

Xiang Kun said, pushing the pan of dry pot rabbit meat forward with a smile, “Alright, let’s talk about the rest later. First, have a taste of this dry pot bamboo rat meat I made, how’s the taste?”

“It smells so good, it must be delicious!” You Meng’s wife was complimenting while picking up the chopsticks to distribute it to everyone, even the enthusiastic young waitress received a share.

Xiang Kun watched with anticipation as she picked up the bamboo rat meat with chopsticks. She chewed and chewed, moved it from the left side of her mouth to the right, and continued to chew, and her expression slowly turned awkward.

You Meng also chewed for a long time, just like chewing gum, he laughed at Xiang Kun, “I was too busy watching you show off just now, and I forgot to remind you. The skin of this rat meat is quite tough, it needs to be stewed longer, hahaha, but the taste is really good.”

A small twitch appeared on Xiang Kun’s face, as he realized that he had treated the bamboo rat meat like it was rabbit meat. Since he had never cooked bamboo rat meat before, data types being different, this formula really shouldn’t be used randomly…

Because of Xiang Kun’s carefree promotional plan, when the last table of customers left “Youlong Restaurant”, they closed early tonight.

They gave You’s grandnephew and the young waitress the night off, leaving only the You Meng couple in the restaurant. They made a few small dishes, re-stewed the bamboo rat meat until it became tender, and sat in the dining hall eating and chatting.

So as not to look suspicious, Xiang Kun also took the opportunity to swallow two stones and pretended to eat a few bites.

“Renovating the kitchen and tailoring new clothes should be fine, it won’t cost much. And so is making the video, maybe we could get someone who does wedding photoshoots to do it. But, Xiang Kun, those moves of yours, I don’t think I can learn them. Watching you do it felt so cool, but when I tried it myself, it was just so damn embarrassing…” You Meng said, opening a bottle of beer and drinking it while talking.

Xiang Kun replied, “You don’t necessarily have to learn my moves. You could have your own features. For instance, you could perfect each step, cut the vegetables neatly each time, same length for each slice, and make sure the interval between each cut is the same, matching the rhythm. Make sure the condiments and other ingredients are measured to precise whole numbers. Tell tne audience, only precise numbers can ensure tne accurate ana staD1e taste, including the time for cooking, the number of times for stir-frying, the range of stir-frying, the time of simmering, and so on.”

“Prepare a scale, measure all the condiments, edit out the weighing process, so when people see the values, they are round numbers.”

“Have the digital probe thermometer ready for cooking, you need to check the oil temperature. Make sure it’s a whole number, or the ends of multiple numbers are the same for the camera!

“When speaking, be earnest and composed, and be very certain.

“Trust me, this style will thrill many who are a bit obsessive-compulsive!

“I’ve already designed your character for you – a ‘culinary idiot’ who exclusively researches various ways to cook rabbit. A cool, reserved, technically skilled man.”

“Culinary idiot?” You Meng tilted his head awkwardly, and his wife tried to stifle her laughter at the side.

“If you’re not happy with this character setup, I have other ideas…” Xiang Kun’s brain was spinning fast at the moment. Once an idea sprung up, a series of other thoughts and plans would follow. When thinking about the script and character design, the next one and even the one after that was already being brewed or even fully formed.

Xiang Kun had given You Meng four different character designs to choose from, but the straight-talking man of Tongshi Town couldn’t help muttering quietly: “Isn’t this lying… I’m not that type of person.”

“It’s just for promotions, you’re simply playing the role of the chef in our video. Besides, everything we say is true. For example, claiming that you come from a family of cooks is not incorrect, right? Your family does run a restaurant! Saying that you are passionate about cooking and are dedicated to the culinary arts so you didn’t attend university is also true. Instead of pursuing university, you learned to cook in your family’s restaurant. You didn’t even take the college entrance exam, so no one has a chance to prove that you couldn’t get admitted! The rest is just about your cooking style and speaking manner, right? You’re not telling people what kind of person you are, you’re just portraying this way in the videos for the sake of effect!”

You Meng considered this, then nodded his head, as if it really was the case.

“How come you’re saying I specialize in rabbit? I’m not particularly skilled at cooking rabbit…”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m pretty good at it. I’ll make the recipes for you, they’ll be accurate down to each step, the specific times, proportions, and heat. There’ll be no problems.” Xiang Kun had a decent understanding of the tastes of Tongshi’s townspeople. After all, he lived here for many years with his parents.

“And then? What do we do next? Enclose the name and address of our ‘Youlong Restaurant’ at the end of the video we produce, and then type it out in subtitles?” You Meng asked, some eagerness in his voice.

“No, don’t add anything, don’t mention anything, don’t mention a single word. Just mention your name, or you can use a screen name if you’d like. We’ll make videos about cooking rabbit exclusively. We don’t need too many- just three to five carefully made 2-3 minute videos.” Xiang Kun explained.

You Meng found this curious, “Then how do customers find our restaurant? We’re not trying to be internet famous, didn’t we say we’re trying to advertise the restaurant?”

Xiang Kun said: “That would be the next step. If our rabbit cooking videos generate a certain reaction, we’ll invite a Big V who covers travel and food to write an article. Isn’t there a 5A scenic spot not far from us? We can have the Big V start there, using a trip to the scenic spot as a starting point. Then they would find a reason to search for the legendary ‘culinary idiot’ who specialized in rabbit dishes, arrive in Tongshi Town, find your restaurant, and have the legendary rabbit meal. We don’t need to say anything in great detail. Mention it and then leave it, like the primary purpose was sightseeing, and they happened to have rabbit on the way.”

Seeing You Meng and his wife nodding thoughtfully, Xiang Kun continued: “After a while, you could invite this type of UP owner over again to maintain the heat. Don’t go for the ones who are too popular. Don’t spend too much money. ‘l’ry to tind ones wno’ll collaborate tree ot cnarge. Atter your Internet popularity starts to rise, local people will naturally be attracted to come. The rabbit dishes are mainly catered to local tastes. As long as they try it and find it good, your reputation will rise rapidly. You’ll have more and more repeat customers.”

“I see, so this connects our video on the internet with our restaurant.” You Meng mused, then frowned slightly. “But isn’t this roundabout? If our videos are popular, wouldn’t that benefit all restaurants that cook rabbit, considering that we shared our recipe…”

Xiang Kun shook his head: “It’s unrealistic to want to have all the traffic concentrated on ourselves. Don’t be afraid of others getting a free ride. While they’re riding on your coattails, they are also indirectly boosting your popularity. Your restaurant is only this big, money isn’t just earned by one person. Establishing your brand is the most important.”

“So it’s a three-step process?”

Xiang Kun said: “No, there’s also a third step. If the second step is effective and begins to bring in customers, you could liaise with the cultural tourism department of Tongshi Town to help promote your business. You could also cooperate with a commercial street nearby. They’ll surely be willing to boost your fame. By then, you could negotiate better lease agreements, bigger business premises, better locations.

You Meng couldn’t help but laugh with his wife, “I’m already picturing lines of customers at the front of our restaurant.”

You Meng’s wife also nodded, saying, “I think Brother Xiang’s idea is really clever, and it has a high chance of success.”

You Meng then said to Xiang Kun, “Whether my little restaurant can be revived depends on your plan. If it works, I’ll give you a thirty percent stake in the restaurant. Of course, if it doesn’t work, it won’t matter much, because I was planning to shut it down anyway.”

Indeed, if Xiang Kun’s three-step plan makes his “Youlong Restaurant” business boom again, Xiang Kun would deserve a lot of credit. He was the mastermind behind it all, even down to developing the rabbit meat recipe. Of course, they still weren’t sure if the rabbit meat’s recipe tasted good or whether the customers would like it. But the conversation Xiang Kun had at Liu Caifu’s home in Chongyun Village in the afternoon, along with his performance in the kitchen that night, made You Meng value Xiang Kun’s abilities and trust him completely.

Xiang Kun said, “I will also cover thirty percent of the expenses. If this plan works, if the restaurant becomes popular, I’ll buy into the restaurant using thirty percent of your initial investment.”

“There’s no need for that…”

“It’s settled,” said Xiang Kun. “The most crucial part is to film a good video. Think about which script to use, try filming it yourself first to see how it goes, and then refine it. We must do it well. I’ll be going back to Citong City tomorrow. If anything happens, you can contact me on WeChat.

“Actually, whether a restaurant can become popular is sometimes a matter of luck. Even if we do our best, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be successful. We can only do our best.”

What Xiang Kun didn’t realize was, while he was saying all this, the video of him suavely preparing bamboo rat meat at Youlong Restaurant that night had already been uploaded to website B …

Although Xiang Kun had told You’s grandnephew not to post it online, the young man had filmed such a cool video and was itching to show it off. It was so frustrating!

So he sent the video to one of his best friends to watch. That didn’t count as posting it online, right?

But he forgot to tell his friend not to post it online.

So after watching, his friend posted a video on website B titled “Watch the Bald

Guy’s Super Cool One-Take Video of Bamboo Rat Meat Preparation!”

Of course, Xiang Kun spent the night at You Meng’s house. Sitting cross-legged on the bed in the guest room, he reflected on what he had done during the day.

He had gotten carried away at Liu Caifu’s house, unknowingly immersing himself in his own emotions and causing an “Emotional Assimilation” that affected Liu Caifu and You Meng. Fortunately, it didn’t seem to have any negative effects on him for now.

Actively giving advice for You Meng’s restaurant was his intention. On one hand, he genuinely wanted to help his friend overcome the restaurant’s tough situation. On the other hand, he wanted to test the feasibility of the numerous plans and schemes popping up in his head, just like when he used to test various abilities in the past.

He had even considered that doing these things wouldn’t pose any risks to him, as he wouldn’t be appearing on camera anyway.

In fact, he still had many ideas that he hadn’t shared, some of which might not work so well or were too ambitious. For instance, he thought about using the ability of “Emotional Assimilation” to influence a large number of diners in public places, making them feel that the dishes prepared by You Meng were delicious.

But the problem was controlling “Emotional Assimilation” was challenging. When he wanted to tap into emotions, he often struggled to find the right feeling, whereas other times he would unknowingly immerse himself in his emotions when he didn’t want to.

In addition, having lost his “appetite” for ordinary food, he found it hard to conjure the emotion that the food was delicious or exceptionally tasty.

When thinking about “Emotional Assimilation,” Xiang Kun couldn’t resist sensing the eight-armed, eight-eyed wood carving again, and this time, there was a reaction!