If You Could Hear My Heart

Now, her interest piqued: “Alright, I’ll go upstairs and get it. I’ll start knitting the sweater sooner so the baby can wear it as soon as they’re born!”

The thought of her baby wearing the sweater she knitted made her unusually happy.

In the past, she didn’t feel much for children, finding them naughty and hard to manage.

But now that she had her own baby, she felt nothing but joy.

She wondered what the little one would look like and suddenly felt so full of anticipation.

If it’s a girl, she’ll surely be cute and rosy. If it’s a boy… will he look like his father?

She stopped in her tracks. The baby’s father… why was Nie Chenglang so adamant that it was him that night?

Even though she had been drugged, somewhere in her subconscious, she always remembered the scent of the man. It was very distinct, identical to the scent of Shen Chi.

Right, the video! She remembered now. If possible, she could find someone to get the hotel surveillance footage!

This thought sent her heart surging with emotion.

Walking to her room to fetch the yarn, her steps became much lighter.

But why was she excited? If the child was Shen Chi’s, why did she feel excited? No, no, no, she had to stay calm, she and he were not suitable for each other.

She came downstairs holding the wool, quite composed, and placed a ball of yarn on the living room sofa.

The butler had gone to wash his hands: “Come on, Chaomu, let’s continue your lesson.”

“Okay!”

The butler sat patiently beside Xu Chaomu, teaching her stitch by stitch.

“Chaomu, you’re really clever, you learn so fast.”

“You’re teasing me again, butler. You’re a good teacher.”

“Not at all, you’ve been bright since you were young. Let me tell you, you’re the only one who could make Young Master Four so angry that he would steam up. Anyone else would have died a dozen times over by now,” the butler laughed.

“I appreciate his mercy in not killing me,” Xu Chaomu said with a smile.

“You don’t know, since his childhood, Young Master Four was particularly aloof, and nobody dared to approach him. There were fearless girls who tried to play with him, but they would almost always run back crying within a minute.”

“Butler, do you think he’s really helpless? All he knows is how to bully little girls.”

“Haha, so later on, no young girls dared to play with Young Master Four, and of course, now there are no women who dare to provoke him either.”

“With his temper, my poor young heart was severely traumatized, yet I still managed to grow up healthy and strong—it’s a miracle.”

“Young Master Four was also quite frustrated by you, so I always say, you two are a match made in heaven.”

“Enemies are bound to meet on a narrow road.”

“I remember, at that time, no other girl dared to play with him again after being scolded, except for you. You really had the guts.”

“That’s called thick skin,” Xu Chaomu said, somewhat embarrassed.

Thinking back, it was truly a pitiful sight. He would tell her to “scram,” and she would still stick to him.

At the age of ten, she had set lofty goals: tease him, kiss him, sleep with him.

“It’s not thick skin, it’s fate. You don’t know what Young Master Four has gone through these five years…” As the butler began to speak about these matters, her voice dropped, choking a little.

Xu Chaomu was knitting her sweater, head down, and paused when she heard this.

She had never asked him about those five years, but she could tell from his condition that he hadn’t been well.

For instance, it was well known that he never used to get headaches, but now, he suffered so much that he couldn’t sleep all night.

“When you disappeared, Young Master Four searched the entire Sumatra Island, even sending his most capable assistant, Xiao Mo, to look for you there for five years,” the butler said, “But you were without a trace, and everyone was indirectly telling Young Master Four that you had left this world. But he didn’t believe it, and later on, no one else dared to bring it up.”

“During that time, Young Master Four smoked and drank incessantly, often brought home by that boss Weiyang from nighttime outings.”

“He missed you terribly. When he was drunk, he would continuously call out your name… but no one could answer him.”

Xu Chaomu remained silent and listened quietly as the butler spoke.

“You have no idea, in the vastness of the Shen family estate, on those dark nights, when he was helped home, he would hoarsely call out ‘Chaomu, Mumu’ over and over, and I cried several times.”

“Don’t think Young Master Four is the same now, as if nothing has changed. The truth is, with you back, he’s hidden all his sorrow. He doesn’t want to share his grief with you.”

“These five years, he really thought that he might never see you again for the rest of his life.”

The butler sighed as she spoke, knowing all the details of those five years.

“About his headaches, that started then too, either ending the night with a headache from drinking or with a stomach bleeding before he stopped. Just before you came back, he spent a few days in the hospital.”

Xu Chaomu became even more silent, realizing that this was how he had spent his last five years.

If she really hadn’t come back for a lifetime, what then?

Shen Chi, aren’t you smart? How could you be so foolishly incurable over these five years?

“Fortunately, Chaomu, you came back. Otherwise, I can’t imagine how Young Master Four would manage to go on,” the butler said.

“He’s really foolish,” Xu Chaomu said softly, looking down.

The yarn on her fingers was warmer than sunlight, softer than a spring breeze. As she wound it over and over, the softest place in her heart was touched deeply.

“Chaomu, you must stay with Young Master Four from now on. You two must be together,” the butler pleaded.

Xu Chaomu didn’t answer but simply lifted the yarn in her hands and asked with a smile, “Butler, what color scarf do you think is best for a man to wear?”

“Black, grey, khaki, white—all are good choices.”

“Butler, is there any more grey yarn available?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll go get it for you right now,” the butler replied.

The butler was a beat slow in her reaction, realizing Xu Chaomu’s intention only after slapping her forehead.

In less than a minute, the butler brought over the newly bought grey yarn.

“Chaomu, see this yarn, it’s particularly warm and feels very good for knitting scarves.”

“Good!” Xu Chaomu responded with a smile, “Then, butler, I’m going to need your help to teach me some more.”

“Sure, no problem. By the way, girl, are you… knitting a scarf for Young Master Four?”

“Who’s knitting for him?” Xu Chaomu retorted, lowering her head to start weaving the yarn.

The butler laughed as well, understanding Xu Chaomu for many years; she knew her temperament and disposition clearly. Oftentimes, her actions spoke contrary to her words, just like Young Master Four.

“Here, let me teach you,” the butler began instructing Xu Chaomu on how to knit a scarf.

As Xu Chaomu knitted, she thought, if she made him a pink scarf, he would still have to wear it.