If You Could Hear My Heart

Xu Chaomu rubbed her hands, continuously bringing them to her mouth to breathe warm air on them.

But when the cold snowflakes fell on her face, her nose tingled, and she felt like crying again.

Cold, a cold that seeped into her skin.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her small face red with frost. This morning, while it was still dark, she had been woken by the cold and then had been unable to fall asleep again no matter how much she tossed and turned.

When she got up, she didn’t bother much with her hair and went out to look for odd jobs.

Burrowing her head into her collar, she walked forward in the snow.

She was so insignificant, no one noticed her, and nobody would sympathize with her, even though she had gone without food for two meals now.

Just when she thought she was at the end of her rope, she suddenly looked up and saw a help wanted sign in a small restaurant.

The informal restaurant was looking for temporary workers.

Xu Chaomu read the job posting from top to bottom and found that the only thing she could do was wash dishes, but washing dishes for an hour only earned her one euro.

One euro, that’s just a little over six yuan.

Xu Chaomu gritted her teeth, having money was better than none at all, she was almost out of options.

She mustered her courage and went in to ask; fortunately, the boss didn’t reject her. After sizing her up, he agreed to let her stay.

The boss was a Malaysian, with shrewd eyes that were always shifting, his intentions never quite clear.

“Your name is Xu Chaomu? How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

“Oh, not bad, pretty vivacious. Pink and tender little face, hands look soft and lush too.”

Having said that, the boss reached out with his fat palm intending to touch Xu Chaomu’s hand.

Xu Chaomu instinctively dodged, her expression unreadable, “Boss, can I start working now?”

“Tsk tsk, look at you, you seem unused to hardship. Can you really wash dishes? I also have work that doesn’t require much effort but pays well, would you like to do it?”

“Boss, I can wash dishes,” Xu Chaomu insisted through gritted teeth.

“Look at your little hands. I would feel sorry for them if you had to wash dishes. Think about it carefully, I have something much more profitable for you to do. Eighteen years old, tsk tsk, such a good age, it would be a waste not to make the most of it, right?”

“Boss, I just want to wash dishes.”

“That’s what you’re saying, washing for an hour is just one euro, think it through. If you’re willing to do something else, an hour can be worth more than a thousand euros.”

“Boss, I just want to wash dishes,” Xu Chaomu repeated firmly, determination in her large eyes.

“Stubborn! Alright, you want to wash dishes? Go wash them in the backyard, after an hour go to the front desk to get your euro!” The boss lit a cigarette, looking at Xu Chaomu with dissatisfaction.

“Okay.” Xu Chaomu lowered her head and walked towards the backyard.

Under a shed in the backyard were indeed many, many dishes to be washed, with several girls younger than her doing the washing.

These girls looked even more pitiable than her, shivering in the cold wind, their small hands red from the freezing cold.

Xu Chaomu walked over and squatted down. The nearby girls glanced at her but continued washing.

As soon as Xu Chaomu’s hands touched the water, she recoiled—damn it, it was so cold out, and they only provided cold water.

Just as she was about to stand up, the girls looked at her again, but said nothing.

After hesitating for a moment, Xu Chaomu finally compromised, bending over and half-squatting on the ground, reaching for the grimy dishes with her hands.

The water in winter was truly cold, so cold it numbed her fingers.

After washing just one dish, Xu Chaomu’s fingers were already frozen red. At first, she felt like crying, but then she became numb to it.

She tried to speak to the girl next to her in English, but the girl knew only a few words.

It took Xu Chaomu a great deal of effort to understand that they had been tricked into working abroad and had later escaped, ending up on the streets. Without money for food, they had no choice but to wash dishes and do odd jobs.

Just then, a woman who appeared to be the boss’s wife came over and kicked a dozing girl without mercy.

“Are you here to work or to sleep? You can even fall asleep washing dishes, you might as well get lost!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The girl couldn’t say anything else but kept apologizing.

“If I catch you sleeping again, you’re out,” the woman said aggressively.

“Okay, okay.”

The girl let out a sob and continued washing dishes. The surroundings became even quieter, so quiet that one could hear the snowflakes fluttering to the ground.

After surveying everyone, the boss’s wife walked away.

Xu Chaomu continued to wash dishes with her head down. She suddenly remembered a time in C City when she had just run out and started washing a few dishes before Shen Chi caught her and dragged her back.

He didn’t allow her to wash dishes, forcefully taking her away, and in the darkness of night, he washed the filth from her hands.

This memory flashed by and soon, Xu Chaomu stopped thinking about it.

Someone with no ties left in her life was not worth reminiscing about.

After washing dishes for a full hour, Xu Chaomu went to the front desk to collect her one euro.

The boss sat under a heater, puffing on a cigarette while looking at Xu Chaomu, “Enjoy washing dishes?”

“Quite,” Xu Chaomu said indifferently.

“Yo, seems like you really like washing dishes.”

“Boss, I’m going to continue washing,” she said.

Xu Chaomu wiped the water from her hands, preparing to head back to the backyard.

The boss discarded the cigarette in his hand, crushing the butt under his foot. He grabbed Xu Chaomu’s arm and yanked her toward him.

“Little girl, why bother with this? It’s heartbreaking to watch. I’ve got other work here that pays more and, what’s more, it doesn’t involve hard labor and is actually quite comfortable. Don’t you want to give it a try? You’re so beautiful, you know?”

Xu Chaomu pushed him away and backed up two steps, leaning against the wall.

“Boss, I just want to wash dishes.”

“But what if I don’t let you wash dishes anymore, what then?”

“Are you firing me?”

“Yes, you’re fired.”

“Then I’ll leave,” Xu Chaomu said defiantly, the determination evident in her large eyes.

She wasn’t a child anymore; what the boss implied, she understood perfectly.

“But I am not letting you go, so what will you do?”

Xu Chaomu didn’t listen, she just lowered her head and tried to leave, heading for the door.

But then the boss whistled, and suddenly several men entered, blocking Xu Chaomu’s path.

Xu Chaomu stepped back twice, “What are you doing?”

The boss whistled triumphantly again toward the men, “See? I told you this chick is pretty, right?”

The men leered at Xu Chaomu and laughed, “Boss, your eye is always spot on. These Eastern beauties are stunning. Tsk, look at that little face, look at those big eyes, tsk tsk, truly adorable.”

“Then you guys should take good care of our little girl here,” the boss said with a sleazy grin.

“What are you doing?” Xu Chaomu raised her guard.

“What are we doing? Come with us and you’ll find out. We guarantee it’ll be an eye-opener for you! Hahaha!”

The men grabbed Xu Chaomu’s wrist firmly, dragging her outside the room.

Xu Chaomu refused to go, grabbing onto the doorframe, clinging tightly and not letting go.