If You Could Hear My Heart

She feared she truly couldn’t restrain herself from bursting into loud sobs, she didn’t want to cry anymore, if she did, she might dehydrate, and after all, girls who cry too much will develop wrinkles.

Upon reaching downstairs, she turned back to her dorm to pack her things, stuffing her small suitcase full to the brim.

Once everything was packed, she tucked the suitcase into a corner, ready to drag it away on the day she would leave on a plane.

After closing the door of her dorm, she came out with only a tote bag in hand—the gift Shen Chi had given her for her eighteenth birthday.

The white dress and those red-soled shoes.

She had washed them until they were spotless, wanting to take them back to the Shen Family.

This time, she was smarter, before heading to the Shen Family, she made a call to the butler Ling from a telephone booth.

If Shen Chi was at home, she would absolutely not return.

“Butler Ling, have you… had dinner yet?”

“Oh, Miss Xu, I have, where are you? I heard your midterms just ended?”

“Yes, just finished today. I’m at school right now, I’ll be going mountain climbing with classmates tomorrow.”

“Going mountain climbing, make sure you’re safe, and remember to wear a hat now that the weather’s hot, a young lady like you wouldn’t look good getting tanned.”

Xu Chaomu laughed: “I have thick skin, I won’t tan easily.”

“That’s no way to speak of oneself, Miss Xu, you haven’t had dinner yet, have you? Come to the Shen Family tonight, and I’ll make you something delicious.”

“Butler Ling… is he… is Brother Si at home?”

Upon hearing her question, Butler Ling caught on immediately: “Miss Xu, the young master went to South Africa already, it’s been three days.”

“He’s already gone to South Africa? I didn’t know that,” Xu Chaomu said, somewhat disconsolate, as she touched her head.

Although she knew long ago that he was heading to South Africa, at this moment, her heart still felt a profound sense of loss.

He had been gone for three days already, and she didn’t know, nobody had told her.

To the Shen Family, she was really… being treated like an outsider, wasn’t she…

“Yes, he left three days ago. Young master left in a hurry, so he didn’t tell you, Miss Xu. Don’t hold it against Brother Si, in the past few days, he still called and asked me to check on you more often at school.”

“Oh.” Xu Chaomu didn’t really believe that, she felt Butler Ling was just trying to cheer her up.

“Miss Xu, are you coming to the Shen house?”

“Yes, I’m going to pick up some stuff, just what I need for mountain climbing tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you at the Shen house. It’s a good opportunity to make some food for you.”

After hanging up the public phone, Xu Chaomu, carrying her backpack and holding her tote, headed to the bus stop.

After hanging up with Xu Chaomu, Butler Ling was exceptionally happy. He didn’t even realize when he had grown fond of this young girl.

He used to think she was mischievous, but later discovered that this girl was particularly pure and lovely.

Just like a blank sheet of paper, devoid of any guile, very likeable indeed.

The moment Xu Chaomu returned to the Shen Family, Butler Ling busied himself with taking her bags.

“Miss Xu, you’ve finally come back, Dabai has been so listless these days, not eating or drinking. The moment I said Miss Xu would return, it started jumping around energetically.”

“Dabai’s become a little devil, such a naughty dog. It doesn’t like me, it just feels nobody’s here to bother it when I’m away.”

“Miss Xu, what are you talking about? Dabai truly likes you.”

“I’ll just assume it really likes me, and feed it some meat later.”

“Before you feed Dabai, Miss Xu, you need to fill your own stomach first.”

Xu Chaomu didn’t decline Butler Ling’s offer, she had eaten meals at the Shen’s for eight years, truly wanting to eat there one last time…

Butler Ling prepared a lot of delicious food for her, and Xu Chaomu chatted with him while eating.

“Butler, who else is at home right now?”

“These past few days have been very quiet at the Shen household. Your Brother Si went to South Africa, the Second Miss and Third Young Master also seem to be quite busy, haven’t been back in days. Lady Liu has gone back to her parents’ house, and the old master hardly ever returns here.”

“What about Sister-in-Law Si?”

“Miss Bai hasn’t been visiting recently, I heard that the filming crew is very busy.”

“Oh…” Xu Chaomu nodded, indicating she understood.

After dinner, she walked alone to her room, deciding not to leave today, to sleep one more night in the room she had slept in for eight years.

The small bed was still the same bed from before, and the table was still the same one from before, nothing had changed.

Sitting on the bed, a flood of memories surged before her.

When she first arrived at the Shen’s, she often had nightmares, and at that time, she would fuss and refuse to sleep alone.

Shamelessly, she would run to Shen Chi’s room, crying as she ran: “Brother Si… I’m scared… sleep with me…”

Shen Chi would always have a dark expression, pushing her hand away: “Xu Chaomu, can you be any more shameless? Don’t you realize that girls can’t just sleep with boys casually?”

“I don’t care, I want to sleep with you, I’ll take responsibility if it comes to it.”

“Then go to sleep with your Brother San!” Shen Chi felt aggravated.

“I’m not close with Brother San!”

“Well, I’m not close with you either!”

“What’s with that, haven’t we hugged before and you still say we’re not close? You can’t be like this as a person.”

“Xu Chaomu, where did you get all this nonsense from? I see you are not afraid at all, get back to your own room!”

“I won’t leave, I want to sleep with you!”

Back then, she was like a little tyrant, jumping onto his bed, taking possession of it.

However, Shen Chi was always one step ahead, picking her up by her collar and tossing her back into her own room.

“Xu Chaomu! If you dare run into my room again, I’ll throw you into the doghouse!”

“Shen Chi, you big jerk! Shen Chi, you bastard!” she grumbled angrily, what an annoying ghost he was.

After cursing, she would lie on the bed counting sheep.

The nightmares continued to come, and whenever she dreamed of that fire, she would wake up shocked. Feeling around, her pillow was soaked with tears.

But eventually, Butler Ling started brewing her a type of tea every night, said to be calming for the nerves.

After drinking it many times, she felt more tranquil and finally had nightmares less often.

Once, she secretly discovered that it was actually Shen Chi who personally made it for her.

She was moved to tears, shaking his arm: “Brother Si, you really love me so much. If you do, just say it, I’ll accept your confession!”

Back then, Shen Chi glanced at her disdainfully: “Ridiculous! I’m only doing this to keep you from running into my room.”

Remembering the past, Xu Chaomu couldn’t help but stroke the small bed and sigh.

Time flies so quickly, eight years in the blink of an eye.

Xu Chaomu, hand on her forehead, thought of a phrase, “time flies.”

Time flies, merely a flick of a finger’s moment.

Who grants time to flow on.

From now on, she’ll never run into his room again, from now on, his baby will be the one to crawl into his room. She had, after all, become a passerby…

Xu Chaomu was actually quite curious, when his baby crawled into his room, would he also maintain a stern face?

Thinking of this, Xu Chaomu couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Not knowing how long she had sat by the bed, Xu Chaomu lingered, reluctant to stand up.