If You Could Hear My Heart

“No, if you get drunk tonight, you’ll feel terrible. You don’t understand.”

Shen Shihan often got drunk with clients when he went out for social engagements, and he understood that awful feeling all too well.

Mo Shuifu was just a girl, how could he let her suffer that discomfort?

“Then you drink, you drink more.” Mo Shuifu leaned on her hand and laughed.

“Okay, I’ll have a taste. Your dad’s liquor is not bad.”

Indeed, it was not bad, Shen Shihan took a sip. Rich and mellow, it had quite a few years on it.

“My dad used to store his liquor in a cellar. He said, when his daughter got married, he would take it out to entertain guests. By then, this liquor would surely taste especially good. It’s just a shame, his daughter hasn’t gotten married yet, but he’s already left all by himself…”

Mo Shuifu, supporting her forehead, was reminded of the past, her tears brimming in her eyes.

Getting married…

Who could she marry in this lifetime?

“Why are you crying? If you want, I can take care of you.” Shen Shihan put his hand on her shoulder, wiping away her tears.

Mo Shuifu sobered up a bit, and with a bitter smile, she said, “Shen third young master, I’m out of your league.”

She didn’t like him that much either.

“Mo Shuifu, are you stupid or what? Aren’t women who like reading books supposed to be smart? How come you don’t understand…”

He sighed. The last time he kissed her forcefully, he had said everything he wanted to say, but she still didn’t understand.

Was it because she simply didn’t believe that Shen Shihan could fall for her… or had she truly fallen for someone else?

But there was no helping it, he had fallen for her. Sometimes, sitting in his office, he found himself thinking of her.

That longing, that yearning, haunting his dreams.

Shen Shihan had never felt so entangled before, as if there was always something in his heart that he couldn’t let go of.

“I don’t have a heart, I won’t understand anything.” Mo Shuifu forced a smile, supporting her forehead again, her tears streaming down as she laughed.

“What do you feel for me?” Shen Shihan asked with a cold face.

“Feelings? We’re creditor and debtor, third young master. Have you gotten muddled from the drinking too? How could you forget.”

Shen Shihan suddenly grabbed her wrist forcefully: “I’ll say it one more time, we’re not creditor and debtor, that money, I don’t want you to repay it! Is there really nothing between us besides the money?”

“What else is there then? Third young master, do tell me…” Mo Shuifu forced a laugh.

Her chest ached in throbs, Mo Shuifu clenched her teeth.

Her wrist hurt from his grip, but that pain was nothing compared to the ache in her chest.

Against the not-so-good lighting, she saw Shen Shihan’s face turning ashen.

They stayed in that impasse, neither of them speaking.

The air around them suddenly cooled considerably, and for the first time, Shen Shihan felt a particular kind of helplessness.

Some say, in love, the one who gives the most is the one who gets hurt the most.

But the truth is, even knowing that the one who would be hurt the most would still go against the grain. Because love is something that can blind the eyes, cloud the mind, and drive one forward irreversibly.

Those who don’t understand love will never comprehend the heart-racing feeling of falling for someone.

Suddenly, there came a day when he understood, but she did not.

“Shui Fu, tell me, is there someone in your heart?” Shen Shihan asked in a husky voice, his eyes as deep as pools of black water.

Mo Shuifu was startled, her large eyes filled with confusion…

There is a type of love known as love at first sight.

From the moment she saw that person, she fell for him, yet, she could only watch from afar…

That man’s name was Shen Chi.

“Why aren’t you speaking? Tell me.” Shen Shihan was not willing to give up.

“No… Didn’t I say it? I, Mo Shuifu, have no heart. If I have no heart, how can anyone live in it…”

Her eyes were bloodshot, and though she had swallowed her tears, her large eyes were misty.

On her delicate little melon-seed face, there was nothing but a forbearing smile.

In this lifetime, she would bury her feelings for that man deep within her heart. Once her heart was full, it would have no room for anyone else.

“You just know how to give me the runaround.” Shen Shihan bitter-smiled, gradually releasing her hand.

He returned to the table and poured a full large glass of liquor, downing it in one go.

“Shui Fu, you like reading so much, tell me, ‘When liquor enters a sorrowful gut,’ what’s the next line?”

His eyes, sharp as a hawk’s, bore into her; he refused to believe she could hide all her emotions.

Mo Shuifu raised her head, her face now flushed with the tipsiness from the strong drink.

When liquor enters a sorrowful gut, it turns into tears of longing.

She knew, but she never spoke up.

Seeing her silence, Shen Shihan bitter-smiled again and reached for another glass, drinking another cup of wine.

He wasn’t a man who excelled in words, especially when it came to speaking to women. Since he had said so much and she still didn’t understand, perhaps she was feigning ignorance.

Or maybe, she truly wanted nothing to do with him.

He lifted the glass, the wine inside as aromatic and smooth as if the clear liquid was a piece of transparent crystal.

He looked at the wine and spoke softly, “Shui Fu, this is the wine your dad prepared for your wedding, and you’re just letting me drink it like this. Don’t you think it’s a pity?”

“My dad has been gone for so many years; it doesn’t matter.” Mo Shuifu said indifferently.

She supported her forehead; she couldn’t stomach any food, her body felt as if it was on fire.

This wine was truly strong.

Nobody touched the big table full of dishes. Shen Shihan was only drinking, continuously drinking.

As the night deepened, Shen Shihan got more and more drunk; he took off his jacket and hung it on his arm, ready to leave.

The dishes had long since gone cold, while many bottles of liquor had been drunk.

Shen Shihan, holding onto the chair, was thoroughly inebriated. The aged brew truly intoxicating…

“Shui Fu, don’t keep rejecting me. I meant many of the things I said.” Shen Shihan looked at her face.

He suddenly had the urge to hold her face and gently kiss her.

This impulse grew stronger and stronger.

Mo Shuifu had also drunk some wine, she stood up and shook her head: “I’ve forgotten the words you said…”

“Ha, see, you’re brushing me off again. But I can wait, even if it means waiting forever…”

“Third young master, you’re drunk.”

“Maybe, maybe I am really drunk. Or maybe, from the first day I saw you, I was pulled into another world, from then on, I was no longer myself…”

The fate that’s determined by the stars above, was it all predestined?

Why was it that out of all the women, he just had to be drawn to her…

So ungrateful, so unappreciative, so foolish…

What was so good about her, covered in spines like a hedgehog.

Shen Shihan forced a laugh; what was so good about her.

He had said so much to her, and yet she pretended not to understand.

“Shui Fu, it’s late, I’m leaving, you should rest early. Don’t worry about your mother’s matter, I’m here.”

He extended his hand, caressing her cheek. Her face was delicate and smooth, tinged with a hint of rouge, looking beautiful from every angle.

He looked at her and didn’t want to let go.