If You Could Hear My Heart

What was meant as a joke, Xu Chaomu, especially sensitive these days, just couldn’t detect the teasing tone.

She tilts her little face up, “Do you want me to pay you back? Fine, you tell me, how should I repay? Sleep with you? For one night, or ten nights?”

“What the hell are you talking about!”

Anger flares in him, and the hand clutching her collar tightens, pulling her into his arms.

As their eyes meet, he sees her grinding her teeth, her little cheeks so flushed with anger they’re turning blue.

And he felt the same way, his whole face darkening.

“If you don’t want it, then stop talking to me about favors and ingratitude. Eight years ago, I didn’t let the Shen Family claim me. The biggest regret of my life is coming back with Aunt Zhou!”

She bites down, defiance blazing in her big eyes.

Indeed, if she hadn’t come back with Aunt Zhou, she wouldn’t have met him.

In this lifetime, loving him was her greatest mistake. Once tainted by love, it clung to her like poison, impossible to shake off.

The love she treasured like a jewel, it was never worth anything to him.

Their paths in the future would never cross again.

“I won’t hold it against you, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Shen Chi says with a stern face.

If he could just get back from South Africa smoothly, he’d definitely take care of her! He couldn’t believe he couldn’t handle her.

“You may pretend you didn’t hear, but I have to say it,” Xu Chaomu retorts in anger, her wrist aching from his grip, “Shen Chi, you’ve always treated me like a pet. I know I’m lowly and not worthy of you. But could you give me a little dignity? If you’re going to drive me out, then stop bothering me.”

“What do you know?” Shen Chi frowns deeply, sighing at her words.

Give me some time. When I return from South Africa, I’ll explain everything properly to you.

But until then, I’m sorry, I can’t give you any promises.

“Let go of my hand! Stop pulling and tugging at me!”

“Chaomu, ever since I sent you to boarding school, your temper has been growing by the day. In another year or so, will you be cursing my head off?”

He’s trying to lighten the mood, almost bowing his head and apologizing to her.

Even though it’s not his fault, he’s the one who has to bow his head.

Forget it, he shouldn’t argue with her. After all, who argues with their own wife?

“I wouldn’t dare to curse you. Who dares to curse you, Shen Chi? I’ve realized something.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m starting to hate you more and more, really.”

The look of dislike that appears on her face is genuine, without a hint of joking.

Shen Chi frowns at the look of disgust he catches in her eyes.

This was something he had never seen before, and his heart suddenly felt as if it had been emptied.

“Shen Chi, I owe you a lot, I know that. Actually, I don’t really have a way to repay you. My life is still available, but I bet you don’t care for it. I think, the only thing I can give you, is accompany you to bed a few times.”

Having said that, she disregards everything, reaching to unbutton her blouse.

She’d already been branded a mistress.

But since he mentioned “favor,” she had to repay it.

Little did she know, Shen Chi’s eyes were blazing like flames, his eyes blood-red, like a bloodthirsty wolf.

He grasps her wrist tightly, as if he wants to break it!

“Xu Chaomu, who asked you to pay me back? Huh? Don’t flatter yourself! Just look at yourself, without a pretty face or a figure, I’d have to be blind and starving to sleep with you!”

Shen Chi is truly infuriated, his words heavier than he might have intended.

Xu Chaomu lifts her swollen eyes, tears swirling within, yet she forces them back down.

Right, how could she forget, he’s reserving himself for Miss Bai.

In his lifetime, he only loved one person: Bai Man.

Bai Man was the cherished moonlight in his palms.

She fastens her buttons with one hand, speaking indifferently, “Then let’s leave this debt unsettled for now. Maybe in the future, when I’m in shape, you’ll want to sleep with me again.”

“You!” Shen Chi is truly aggravated by her.

“I want to leave, let go of me,” Xu Chaomu looks up at him.

“Stay for dinner, the butler has already prepared it,” he insists.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Do you need the butler to come and invite you personally?”

“I…”

He always knew where to strike, knowing that she couldn’t bear to refuse, couldn’t stand to disappoint the butler who was so kind to her.

“Go down,” Shen Chi commands dominantly, pulling her small hand and dragging her downstairs.

Xu Chaomu gets dragged to the dining table and indeed sees it laid out with a full meal.

The butler rushes over, smiling, “Fourth Young Master and Miss Xu, take your time with dinner. There’s a lot more food coming, all your favorites. Let me pour you some fresh juice.”

The butler pours a glass of mango juice for Shen Chi and sweet orange juice for Xu Chaomu.

Shen Chi doesn’t really like drinking this stuff; what’s the point for a man?

But he remembers a time long ago, when Xu Chaomu sat beside him, nudging him and saying, “Fourth Brother, you should drink less alcohol, it’s bad for you. You’re too young to not take care of yourself. Oh, and let me tell you a secret, babies conceived when drunk are not healthy. This is a tip from Weiwei, she’s an expert.”

In the past, whenever she would say these things, he’d just give her a cold glance, “Be serious.”

And she’d just giggle as if proud of herself for pulling off a prank.

Now, she just nods at the butler, “Thank you, Butler Ling.”

Butler ling smiles, “We’re family, no need for formalities. Take your time. Miss Xu, why don’t you sit closer over here?”

He’s referring to the seat next to Shen Chi.

Xu Chaomu quickly shakes her head, “I’m fine where I am.”

Seeing no other options, the butler, having said and done what he could, sighs and heads back to the kitchen.

Since Xu Chaomu won’t move over, Shen Chi shifts closer himself.

“Eat properly, have some more. When I’m in South Africa, you should come visit the Shen Family more. I won’t be around anymore,” Shen Chi says in a low voice.

He picks out her favorite dishes for her, wishing he could give her nothing but the best.

But this stubborn girl doesn’t appreciate it.

Which is normal, after all, she doesn’t know anything.

Not even that he had secretly registered their marriage, without her knowing.

“Shen Family… Shen Family… my last name isn’t Shen…” Xu Chaomu mutters under her breath, biting her chopsticks.

Shen Chi really wants to tell her, they’re on the same family registry, so what’s the difference.

But no, better give it some more time…

Xu Chaomu pokes at the rice in her bowl, eating grain by grain, finding it tasteless.

“Chaomu, is Lou Yanli your boyfriend?” Shen Chi asks while serving her more food.

“Yes,” she responds faintly.

“I’ve had people look into it. His family is good, his parents are nice people, and they’re well-off. If… if one day I can’t take care of you anymore, you could be with him.”

Xu Chaomu, expecting him to command “no dating” in his usual domineering manner, is surprised he has given in.

Her nose suddenly stings, the thought of him not being able to take care of her anymore…

He was getting married, and in the future, he’d have a wife and children to care for, naturally leaving no ability to care for her.