To Love You Again

Chapter 74 - Troubles of Heart (II)

Xiong Zhi was tugging the guzheng very hard. The guzheng was played very slow yet very hard and heavy. Like the player wanted to portrait how the world treated her badly. How her life was unjust. What terrible crime she committed to take away her most precious thing.

Xiong Zhi did not notice how her eyes were bloodshot. She visits that day. The day she and Linfeng died. The most painful day.

Her tears continued to pour out like how the faucet was broken.

Until one cold hand stopped her hands from playing more.

Xiong Zhi\'s eyes were still red. When she felt those hands, she knew which it belongs to.

She looked at the man of her dreams. The man who died in front of her.

Same face. Same worried eyes. But the man in front of him was younger. Making Xiong Zhi remembered that she was now brought in the past. Those things did not happen yet.

She still had a chance. To change everything. To make up for the lost time.

To tell Linfeng, "I love you "

Linfeng was taken aback by the emotions in Xiong Zhi\'s eyes.

Earlier, he just planned to watch. Then he heard the sound of guzheng. Linfeng was a player of guzheng too. He naturally understands the feelings behind every note.

It was chilling, bone-piercing. Like the one who played experienced a tragic past. A past that was so painful, that even his heart could not take it anymore.

He climbed up to her balcony. Xiong Zhi did not notice him as she was immersed in playing.

After Linfeng climbed up, he noticed how her tears pouring out endlessly. That image shook him to the core. It was more shocking to what he witnessed in the banquet.

The sound of guzheng and Xiong Zhi\'s tears brought a tight squeeze to his heart.

He couldn\'t help but step forward. To stop her. Every strum of her fingers to guzheng gave a sharp stab to him. He could not explain it. He just wanted her to stop.

Stop playing.

Stop being so lonely.

Like his hands had their own minds, they held Xiong Zhi\'s hand stopping her from playing.

Now he looked through her eyes and he did not expect that overwhelming feeling. He could not stand being the receiving end of it. He looked away.

"I-I heard y-you just now. I-I c-climbed up..w-worried." Linfeng could hear his loud heart pounding. He stammered as he was trying to calm his heart and mind.

Xiong Zhi stared at his figure. This time, she knew Linfeng was uncomfortable.

Like Song, Xuantin said, confessing must probably too much for Linfeng to take. Only her eyes were just talking and Linfeng could not take it anymore.

But she had the past. The past which she regretted so much. In that past, she doesn\'t have a chance to proclaim her feelings to him.

(A/n: No! Too early!!!! I forbid you!!)

***[RR]: listen to Xuantin! It\'s too early!****

But she kept hearing voices that she should not confess. That today was too early.

(A/n: Yup!! That\'s right! That\'s us!! The power of the author!!)

***[RR]: and the power of readers too!!***

(A/n:? who told you to pop out you are ruining the moment! Let\'s continue our fight later! Go back!)

***[RR]: you\'re the first who ruin the moment!! Bad author!! Fine, let\'s fight later!****

Xiong Zhi calmed her racing heart.

Linfeng,? I want to badly tell you how glad I am that we have met again. How happy I am I was given a second chance to love you, to be with you, to make everything right.

Xiong Zhi proclaimed her feelings to Linfeng through her mind. She did not notice she took a step nearer to Linfeng.

I want to hold you so bad.

She took another step until her face was almost touching Linfeng\'s chin.

Linfeng was startled as Xiong Zhi came closer. But he can\'t move. No. The right word was he did not want to move. His feet were glued to the floor. As he was anticipating what would she do.

Xiong Zhi stared at Linfeng. Since she could not confess as she was still not confident that the Linfeng now would like her back.

But she wanted to savor this moment. For being this close to him. She was very thankful that Linfeng was now standing in front of her. She might not be seeing the deep love in Linfeng\'s eyes like before, but just standing close to her was enough.

She looked into his eyes and could not help but touch it. Oh..how she missed its gentleness.

Then she touched his sideburns, she remembered clearly that Linfeng grew old so much without her by his side. She was happy when she heard that at the same time there was an unbearable sadness. Thinking how Linfeng did not sleep well in those three years, how he longed for her in those empty days, how he suffered. Xiong Zhi began thinking, her suffering was probably at the same height for Linfeng.

Xiong Zhi\'s eyes and fingers began to travel to his cheeks, gently caressing it, and finally, it stayed on his lips.

Linfeng began to shiver. What for he did not know of. But as Xiong Zhi\'s eyes stared at that certain place, he can\'t help but swallow hard. His heart was pounding on his ears. This time, even he wants to move, he couldn\'t, as he was rooted to the ground.

Xiong Zhi was thinking how those lips smiled at her, comforted her, and brought out words of regrets and unfulfilled wishes.

How he blamed himself for being born low. He died condemning himself.

Xiong Zhi felt bitter. She wanted to hug Linfeng and told him she never blames him. For being born lower than her, for rescuing her late, or forgetting his love for her.

She was willing. Willing to start again, willing to be the one to chase their love, willing to sacrifice more, as she had done nothing to prevent their faith in the past.

Xiong Zhi wanted to hold Linfeng. So she did. Or to say she tried.

She came closer, her hands moved up wanting to embrace Linfeng, when Linfeng who struggled to win his rationality, woke up from Xiong Zhi\'s charm.

He stepped back quickly and hold Xiong Zhi\'s arms that were hanging in mid-air.

"..." Xiong Zhi

Linfeng\'s heart was beating so loudly. He was afraid his heart might collapse from running too much.

Earlier, when Xiong Zhi was about to move to close their distance, Linfeng\'s mind has only one thought: She was about to kiss him.

([*#$;+$$!##!#!!]) [1]

It was not the thought of the kiss that brought him away from her. It was about the \'after\' that.

The kiss would change everything. How would he face her if that happens? Would their master-aide relationship change? It would not be as innocent and pure as before. Besides, it would be disadvantageous for both of them if they have that kind of relationship. Their families were under a treaty. Never ever in their past generations, a Xiong coupled with a Zhou. The world would be against them. And another reason was, he was not prepared for it, he has a path that he would traverse alone. Having Xiong Zhi by his side was not part of his plan.

So with all these reasons, his hands gently pushed her away.

"I-" Linfeng started to explain for his abrupt move. For sure, this move of him would hurt his Young Miss. Any girl would feel hurtful and embarrassed if they got rejected. So he tried to bluff his way to not let his young Miss be embarrassed.

But when he looked at her wide eyes, her shocked gaze mixed with confusion, he suddenly felt lost and don\'t know what to do.? Linfeng misunderstood Xiong Zhi\'s expression as \'too shocked at the sudden rejection\'.

He stammered and sweated. He did not know what to say to her! Or how to comfort her!

"I\'m sorry!!" Linfeng acted in his not usual state. He quickly turned away and run. He disappeared in the same way he appeared.

Xiong Zhi was still taken aback. She just stared down at Linfeng who jumped down skillfully from the third floor, running so fast without looking back.

What happened to him?

But she was more worried if Linfeng got hurt with that jump.

________________________________

[1] - the sound of (A/n) and [RR] silent argument in the background as they agreed that they would continue their fight later on. This is their bickering:

(A/n: This is bad!! Linfeng just gone wild with his imagination!!)

***[RR]: And who\'s fault was that huh?!! You continued embarrassing Linfeng! Does he still have a face as a man?***

(A/n: You don\'t need that. Xiong Zhi might agree with me. Linfeng does not need a face for you! Only for Xiong Zhi!)

***[RR]: Do you have a grudge against me?! You always telling me to shut up every time I pop out! Now, you don\'t care anymore if Linfeng \'s cool image become ugly in front of me?!***

(A/n: Hey! Hey! Hey! Who first keeps telling me to go back and to not interrupt every time I pop up? Ever since chapter 3,4...and and...uhmmm..too hard to go back in other chapters! So I was saying since that chapter 3 you keep bickering with me! Like I stole your phone !)

***[RR]: Don\'t mention my phone! I\'m shutting you up those times because I felt it\'s unnecessary to come out! You just have to let me enjoy the show right?!***

(A/n: Still! I am just returning the favor! It\'s usual for me to appear, I am A/n! But you\'re not! You\'re ruining the moment! Like how you felt it was unnecessary for me to come out!)

***[RR]: Really? I\'m JUST RUINING the moment? Fine.***

(A/n: Hey. I am just trying to explain--)

[1]- And the time runs out. Sorry for letting you read these two nonsense bickering. I think they will finish their quarrel after some time. Btw, you see me rarely, probably in one or two chaps at least. For now, I\'ll stand by as the narrator for today. As (A/n) was not in good condition. Happy Reading.