Life, Once Again!

He had been trying very hard not to use harsh words until now, even in private places. He had seen numerous seniors and juniors who ruined their images because of saying a single wrong word. He did not want to ruin the idol life that he staked his life on with just words.

“That’s rather sudden.”

“There’s this thing I heard,” Maru said, “that all people wear a mask. I might sound like a bad guy who labels people as those that are different on the outside from the inside, but it’s not that. Apparently, people wear masks as some defense mechanism.”

“Defense mechanism?”

“I’m sure you know better than me since you have more social experience. There are many times when you have to smile even after hearing something disgusting. If you accept everything other people say wholeheartedly, people just don’t last, apparently. Those who endure supposedly reached nirvana a long time ago.”

“As you say, if you pay attention to everything like that, people will have to visit the psychologist constantly.”

“Exactly. That’s why it almost becomes impossible to have a social life if you respond sensitively and directly to everything that attacks you. That’s why people compromise and wear masks. The me behind the mask can frown and retort if I hear something disgusting, but it won’t be displayed on the mask. People who have a clear distinction of that can apparently maintain a very clean mental state.”

“What does that have to do with swearing though?” Jichan focused on Maru’s words.

This young brother, who said he had started acting not too long ago, was very calm during shoots contrary to his words. He looked proficient even as he exchanged words with the director and when exchanging opinions with other actors.

Even Jichan himself found the set unfamiliar despite having numerous stage experiences, but Maru looked used to being here as though he had been here for a long time. It meant that Maru possessed the knowledge and attitude that Jichan needed.

“To my eyes, you look like someone who meticulously keeps that boundary. I’m sure that’s the case. Since you have an occupation that puts you in front of the masses, I think it’s a good thing that you become more cautious. But how about when it comes to acting?”

Maru put two fingers in the air before continuing to speak,

“I believe that actors can be separated into two large categories. The first are actors who can act proficiently even with their masks on, while the second are actors who can’t display their skills if they put their masks on. There’s no good or bad between the two. It’s a matter of personal traits after all. There are people who can meticulously separate themselves and the character they’re playing and act objectively, while there are people who cannot act without accepting the character within themselves.”

“Method acting, you mean?”

“Yes. It’s a form of acting that synchronizes you and the character to the extreme. Those kinds of actors cannot wear masks. They look terribly awkward the moment they try to separate the character from themselves.”

“I think I’m quite absorbed in it though.”

“That’s exactly it. I’m saying that that may perhaps not suit you.”

Jichan exclaimed inwardly. What Maru was suggesting was not acting that synchronizes with the character, but acting that observes and designs from the outside.

“Of course, I told you there are two types of acting methodologically, but they should ultimately boil down to one. You should wear clothes that suit your style first and hone your senses before trying your hand at other types of fashion. Eventually, you’ll be able to handle all of it, but the starting point should be different.”

“When you told me to swear….”

“It’s hard to do, isn’t it? I’m sure it is. That’s how you trained yourself after all. On the contrary, how is the character ‘Park Seok-oh’ that you’re playing?”

“He’s a hot-tempered investigator. He can’t stand injustice, he’s rough, proactive, and reckless.”

“Park Seok-oh should have said son of a bitch on the spot.”

“He wouldn’t hesitate, yeah.”

“But you aren’t Park Seok-oh, yet you do have to act him out.”

Jichan’s lips itched. The faint smell of cigarettes in the air stimulated his desire to smoke. He felt hasty.

It was a similar sensation to when he was urgently looking for his phone when he suddenly came up with a melody and lyrics that he wanted to write.

He felt like something was within grasp.

“You’re an enthusiastic person. You’re just as passionate as the character Park Seok-oh, which is why you climbed to where you are. However, isn’t the method of expression different? It shouldn’t be a problem if you were someone who could easily push yourself into a character, but if you can’t, you’ll have to change your ways.”

“I heard that getting absorbed in the emotions and ultimately becoming the character itself is the best form of acting. That’s how I practiced as well.”

“How could there be good and bad ways of acting? Just because you do method acting doesn’t mean that you don’t analyze that character. You do everything in parallel.”

“So you’re telling me not to force myself to become Park Seok-oh, but to act the Park Seok-oh of my imagination?”

“Try doing that first. Don’t ask ‘what would Park Seok-oh have done?’, ask ‘what would I have done if I was in his shoes?’ Depending on who you ask, there might be actors who say that this is wrong, but I’m of the opinion that you should try experiencing it even if it’s wrong. Also, is there an answer to acting? Who would dare say that there’s a concrete equation in acting? Ultimately, acting is a form of abstract art that expresses something that’s not you, so it’s contradictory to say that there’s an answer. Even God probably can’t define the right answer, you know?”

After saying that, Maru looked at his phone.

“Hyung, we should go back now. I think the director’s coming too.”

He saw director Cha and the others walking towards the building in the direction that Maru was looking at. Break time was over.

Jichan walked back into the set. The space that stifled him until just 10 minutes ago somehow felt relaxing to him. The things he thought were different finally looked like they weren’t out of place.

The cameras, lights, production crew, as well as time.

He was always on top of the stage. He sang and danced in front of people. That too was a form of acting. However, the one he acted on stage was not Yoo Jichan, but the ‘idol Jichan’.

He finally understood what Maru said. He always put distance between the two. While Yoo Jichan and Jichan were the same, they were also different. From the moment he became an idol trainee to now, he always put some distance between the two.

“There’s no way it will change in one go.” He chuckled in vain as he looked at the script.

He got on the stage in an outfit that didn’t suit him, so it was no wonder that his choreography was terrible.

A beginner actor could make mistakes and that would be a form of education, but before he was a beginner actor, he was the lead character of this drama.

Mistake? A pro who gets paid to do work making mistakes?

Right now, he shouldn’t be choosing a new, revolutionary method, but the method that he was used to. As Maru said, method acting was something he had to try at a later time.

Jichan gave up on becoming Park Seok-oh, and instead, put on Park Seok-oh’s mask. He was going to express Park Seok-oh’s actions using Yoo Jichan’s thought process. Erasing himself completely and becoming one with the character was something he had to do at a later time.

* * *

“Wave your arms right here.”

“Like this?”

“Yes.”

“Director. I thought about it, but how is this?”

Director Cha and Jichan continued to converse at the desk.

Jichan still caused some NGs and had not found the center of his acting yet, so his character was all over the place and he made a lot of mistakes in his lines as well. It was natural. If someone could change based on a few pieces of advice, humans would have conquered the universe by now.

“I’ll try again,” Jichan said with a voice filled with vitality.

His acting did not change, but his attitude was visibly different. He no longer looked hesitant and lost.

Whether that change would bring about a good result or not, was something hard to predict. However, Maru believed that Jichan would bring about positive results.

Jichan was someone who had reached the top of the idol market where both skills and luck were mandatory. There was no way he would miss the clue to success.

“He’s gotten some confidence,” Sinseo said.

“I’m sure he just realized that he’s actually a great guy. I’m sure he’ll do better in acting.”

“Jichan told me that you said some good words to him.”

“I just told him some words I picked up from people around me. If that was helpful, that shouldn’t be because of me, but because of his own capabilities. You know those people who ask where their phone is when they have it right in their hands, right? He just got confused for a second, but he is no longer now.”

“Cut!”

Director Cha stood up in front of the monitor again.

Jichan clutched his face and apologized.

Maru smiled as he looked at the two people who were together once again.

“Looks like he’s still lost.”

“If he does it immediately after realizing it, then he wouldn’t be human. He would be superhuman.”

Sinseo hung his arm around Maru’s shoulder.

“It was at the dinner event after the first read-through. I had an opportunity to speak to Sir Yoon, and he talked about you.”

“You mean Sir Yoon Moonjoong?”

“Yes. He said that kids these days are really good at acting and mentioned your name. He watched the film that you were in and said that he was surprised to see a young fellow act like that.”

“That somehow puts pressure on me.”

“It should. That’s what it means to receive someone’s expectations.”

Sinseo laughed and took his arm off.

“Do your best. Do well and come across good works. Only then will we be able to work together. I feel like it’s going to be fun acting with you. That’s why I’m looking forward to it too.”

The FD approached Sinseo. It seemed that it was time for Sinseo’s appearance.

Sinseo grabbed his jacket and walked to director Cha, who was in the middle of the set.

“Hyung.”

Maru picked up the script that Sinseo left behind. Sinseo thanked him before taking the script.

Maru looked at the two people shooting from the corner of the set where no light reached him.

Jichan was still being led by the nose by Sinseo’s acting. This power balance would probably never change until the end of the drama.

It might be a disappointment from Jichan’s perspective, but as a whole, it wasn’t that bad. A drama led by a single strong actor would at least do well in terms of sales.

One of the immutable truths in the TV industry was that having a good character contributed to half the success.

SInseo’s character was perfect.

I can’t imagine anyone other than Park Sinseo playing that role – this would probably be the majority opinion once it was aired. Many people would also say that they were watching this drama purely because of Park Sinseo.

“How much bigger do I need to become if I want to work with him?”

Maru took out his phone and sat down on the floor. It was going past 11 p.m.

He did expect that this would be rather taxing, but he didn’t know that he would be staying up the night starting on the second day of the shoot.

At this pace, the drama shoot would become a war past the halfway point; a terrible war of stamina.

It was fortunate that he only had a minor role. Maru opened the script. After these two days of shoots, he wouldn’t have any appearances until next week.

The next time he is called, he would be going somewhere else, not the set in Tanhyeon. He had to shoot his death scene after all.

“Okay, cut! Next.”

“Actors, please stand by.”

Maru stood up as he looked at the crew member that was looking for him.

The night was long, and the camera did not get turned off.

Thinking that he would have to spend the night at the local jjimjilbang, he stepped off.