The Royal Contract

“You are probably thinking of another woman.” She responded, slightly uncertain about his compliment. But something in his expression told her that he genuinely believed his words.

What about her? Did she believe that she was an incredible woman?

She did, back in the days, when she had not stumbled into her ex. When all she could focus on was building her future. She thought she had everything figured out when she had no responsibility other than herself.

She was a rock star, earning a full scholarship for her hard work. She had been a consistent honor student, most of the time, topping her class. She would not say she was the most intelligent, but through diligence and perseverance, she had reached success.

But she met Ryan, and everything went spiraling down for her. Allowing him into her life had been the worst mistake that could happen to her life. But also the best, because he gave her an adorable son. She guessed that was the only saving grace in their relationship.

“Yes, you are.” He responded as if assuring her that he was right. “I witness how hard you work to earn your position. I saw the sacrifices you make to do a good job. And I can also tell that you are a good mother.”

Then, a strong wind swirled around them, not enough to rock the boat but more than enough to make its presence known. But the waves remained still, as silent as the night, as they steadily cruised by the bayside.

“I guess I did work hard and tried to be good enough for my son. But incredible is such a strong word. I don’t think that is me.” She said as she felt the wind blowing her hair across her face.

.....

She was about to fix it when his fingers beat her to it. He slid her hair to the side without breaking their eye contact. She wanted to look away, but he had her trapped in her place.

“Why?” He questioned as his brows frowned at her. “Why do you keep doubting yourself?” He seemed to stare at her like she was a puzzle he could not solve. “Tell me what is wrong, and let me help you.”

This time, she finally forced herself to avoid his gaze, shifting her sight to the darkness, staring at nothing but the void that imitated what she felt. Suddenly, she remembered the nights that she could not help but cry.

She loved her son. She believed he should be enough to make her happy. But she could not help but long for more. She wanted what the others had, selfish as it might sound. She yearned for love.

She wanted a family that could fill her heart with happiness. She wished for a husband to share not only her joy but also her pain. And the bonus of warming her bed during those cold nights.

Overall, she wanted more of what she did not have. But dreaming about it was different from getting it. She thought she almost had it but looked at what chasing for love got her.

“You.” She finally said, without looking at him. “You are what is wrong with me.” She suddenly felt a tear attempting to escape her eyes. “I am not your problem to fix. I don’t need your pity.”

Why was she even crying? But deep in her heart, she knew why. Because she liked him, but on the other hand, she knew it would never work out for them.

“Me?” She could hear the surprise in his voice. “I only want to help.”

“You don’t know what you want. And you are not helping.” She turned to him and looked him in the eye as a tear finally dropped down her cheeks. “What is all this? Do you even know what you are doing?” She pointed to the whole enchilada.

“I want to surprise you. I guessed I want to make you happy.” He tried to explain, still confused by her reaction. “I don’t understand. Why are you crying? Why are you mad at me?”

“Tell me.” She quickly wiped the wetness in her cheeks. “What is this to you? A date.” She finally voiced her thoughts about his invitation to show her around. “Have you dated a woman with a child?”

“No.” He replied but quickly changed his answer. “Yes, I guess this is a date, and no. I have not dated a woman with a son. But it...” He confessed, but she interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

“Well, this is what you should know about me.” She paused for a second, needing to breathe as her eyes began to blur, realizing that tears had started to fall from her eyes like a waterfall.

“I don’t date because I don’t want a man who thinks he could get inside my pants and then leave afterward when the going gets tough.” She continued as she tried to keep her emotions under control.

When she saw that he was about to respond, she stopped him. “And it is always tough.” She pointed her finger at him. “I don’t think you would want to be in my life because you will not last long. So, stop whatever you think you are doing because I will not have my heart broken again.”

She finally buried her face in the palm of her hands as she attempted to rein on her emotions. She had no idea why she suddenly had an emotional breakdown. Maybe it was the stress of seeing Ryan again. Or because she was missing her son.

Another factor that she had been ignoring could be. She wanted this man so much but knew she could not have him. But whatever it was, she had to fix herself. She had to get him off her system.