Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

After having my ass manhandled by the sexy vampire, we were now ready to fight against our next opponent. Waiting gruellingly waiting for the timer to tick down to zero, we decided to pass the time by sharing some funny stories about our lives, and boy, was it funny learning about Typhial\'s past as forced out of her mouth by Oshurkova.

You see, Typhial wasn\'t a yandere till recently. She just became like that when Oshurkova took her virginity when she was drunk. How she did it, let\'s just say that there is a magic that allows you to grow certain appendages, alright?

Since that time, Typhial has gotten hooked on the \'Essence,\' so to speak, that Oshurkova released within her.

At the end of the story, we had an incredibly bright Typhial trying her best to hide her own face from the view of us four, while the rest of us were laughing at her expense. Well, the rest of us but Shrum, who was content to snicker to himself about the absurd cause of the sudden obsession of the harpy.

When it was my turn to speak, I said that I had no funny stories yet because I was still zero years old. It was technically true, but since my body biologically looked like a fully grown, adult silverback gorilla, but heavily modified, it was hard to tell. This got everyone in the dark void with me to shut up and look at me with very surprised expressions, none more so than Catalina.

"… So, I\'ve been fucking around with a newborn…?" Catalina had her eyes wide, before she contemplated the situation and looked at my well-developed muscles. "Then again, you look and act like an adult, sometimes bordering on a teenager, so meh."

Catalina shrugged it off, while Oshurkova, Typhial, and Shrum still looked at me with surprised expressions. A few seconds later, Oshurkova narrowed her eyes at me ever so slightly, which I noticed due to former practice with my former parents, may they die in a fire.

\'I think I may have dug myself a grave…\' I regretted opening my big mouth due to the fact that Oshurkova was now incredibly wary of me. \'Shit, I\'ll have to confront her about this later.\'

Noting to myself to not reveal anything about my age in the future, I hoped my future self would be able to explain the intricacies of my \'birth,\' as one would call it, to the suspicious, Russian vampire lady.

Not that Russia is a country here, but details… details…

The timer finally struck zero, and the black expanse of the void that was currently encompassing us like a blanket vanished into thin air as the familiar sight of the arena took its place.

"Alright, you got the plan in your head?" Everybody, including Oshurkova nodded their heads in agreement. "Good, then let\'s go. Don\'t upgrade our Mons yet. Focus on getting Resource points and countering their Mons upgrade."

As we separated into our roles, I noticed Oshurkova staring at me as she headed down to the bottom lane.

\'Yep, I\'ll definitely need all the luck I can get to explain my circumstances to the vampire. I\'m guessing that nothing but the truth will satisfy her, and hey, if she accepts me, then I will most probably have a strong ally with me in the future.\' I mused as my mind decided to take its approach about the vampire lady not only staying as an ally, but more. \'Who said I couldn\'t pursue romance as an objective? I\'m here to express my freedom away from those bastards who controlled my life, and pursuing a romance was something I\'ve always wanted to do. Hope I don\'t get burned, though.\'

Arriving at the Jungle, I quickly grabbed the Monke Staff from within my inventory and began to wait until the Neutral Mons spawned. After a minute and a few seconds of waiting, the T-rex spawned and with my trusty Monke Staff in hand, beat the giant lizard to death.

Resources + 100

"Well then, time to tilt the enemies." I grinned maliciously as I decided to gank more often than the last match since I had to control the entire Jungle by myself.

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I was now in the river, waiting by the brush for their Jungler to pass by. For some reason, this match had a Neutral Mons in the river, in contrast to the last match which had none.

\'Are they trying to copy a MOBA back on earth?\' I thought in my head as this event reminded me of one of the top MOBAs in the world to ever hit the stage. Sure, their balance team did shit on the playable characters, but damn me if I don\'t appreciate their art team, music team, and video team.

After waiting for a few seconds while not touching the Neutral Mons that was wandering around the river, I found the enemy Jungler running towards the Neutral Mons, before stopping in confusion.

She looked like some kind of mix between an alien and a human, but with an undeniable female body. I\'m not talking about aliens like those Martian people in the films. I\'m talking about black sclera, some horns, and pink skin.

Yep, totally not a rip-off of some kind of anime character from a certain anime.

The good news is that she has red eyes, and her horns were very bull-like, so I guess she isn\'t that kind of a rip-off, and she\'s wearing little to no clothes, exposing most of her pink, glowing skin to the world.

Hell, I can barely see the areola of her nipples since what she\'s wearing barely covered her breasts as well.

\'They\'re colored purple…? Alright…\'

\'Anyway, since she stopped, I guess she\'s also confused about the new Neutral Mons in the river.\' Her confusion didn\'t last, however, since she quickly shook it off and rushed towards the Mons with the full intent to grab more Resource Points.

Too bad, she didn\'t account for me waiting in the brush nearby. Coating my Monke Staff in lightning, I shoved it in the way, the invisible staff smacking against the solar plexus. She coughed out spit as she was sent backwards a few meters and landed on the water with a loud splash.

She coughed and wheezed for a few moments, making her extremely vulnerable to an attack, which I didn\'t waste.

\'Sorry, but I\'m a true advocate of gender equality. If women can hit men, why can\'t men also do the same to women?\' I smashed the Monke Staff on her head, causing her entire body to slam into the water. Her body spasmed here and there due to being soaked wet and suddenly being electrified by my lightning-coated Monke Staff. \'So, the river isn\'t made of pure water. Good to know.\'

*Dungeon Master Xena knocked out*

*Respawn in 8 seconds*

Resources + 500

Alright, time to gank top lane. I hope that Shrum can still 1 v 2 like a giga chad.

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Turns out, Shrum didn\'t need my help again. He\'s got the entire top lane under control, making sure that our Mons always die to the enemy Mons or Bartizan, and he in turn takes all of the Mons on the enemy side. He\'s also making sure that he does not damage the enemy Bartizan, while at the same time, maintaining the distance the between the enemy Mons and our Bartizan so they can\'t damage it too excessively.

TL;DR, Shrum is a motherfucking legend. I now have more respect for the old-timer.

That didn\'t excuse me from wrecking his enemy Laner, though. The surprise on his face was priceless when I swooped in and knocked out the enemy Dungeon Master, which resulted in his careful maintenance of the lane crumbling and our Mons mass-pushing the lane.

"… You know, a little heads-up would be appreciated, you brat." Shrum sighed and decided to make the most of my little dive, which meant him diving between the two Bartizans and taking the wave of enemy Mons so our Mons could freely damage the enemy Bartizan without any enemy Mons taking their attention.

Again, Shrum is a fucking legend.

Leaving him to his devices, I then ganked the mid-lane, where Catalina wasn\'t struggling this time due to a favorable match-up, with her hit and run tactics against some kind of tanky, sentient golem.

After beating the golem to the ground, I then headed to the bot-lane, where I saw Typhial and Oshurkova fighting against three Dungeon Masters. One of them was the alien-like Dungeon Master I knocked out earlier.

Deciding to join in on the party, I grabbed my Monke Staff and roared loudly, taking up the attention of the enemy Dungeon Masters as well as my teammates. A split-second later, all hell broke loose.

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"You know, that roar wasn\'t really necessary." Osrhukova said as we once again stood in the dark expanse of the void.

"Well, I wanted to take their attention so you could sneak in an attack during their momentary surprise." I shot back, which caused Oshurkova to flick me in the forehead with her finger.

"It would\'ve worked, if you told us beforehand about you arriving." The vampire deadpanned, and I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head.

After that gank, me and Typhial were both knocked out, with only Oshurkova left standing after she knocked out the remaining Dungeon Master. After that, we upgraded our Spawned Mons and snowballed our way to victory.

"Well, next time, I\'ll make sure to tell you."

"Good.." Oshurkova smiled, then the rest of the team once again sat in a circle to better pass the time before our next match.